Category Archives: Loss

Primitive Experiences of Loss, the Antisocial Personality, and the Global Awakening . by Alice B. Clagett

Written and published on 10 July 2015, revised on 11 October 2016 and 28 January 2020

  • EARLY CHILDHOOD LOSS AND EARTH’S AWAKENING
  • MY COMMENTS ON PASSAGES FROM ROBERT WASKA’S BOOK “PRIMITIVE EXPERIENCES OF LOSS WORKING WITH THE PARANOID-SCHIZOID PATIENT”
    • The Antisocial Cannibal Astral Stories
    • The Awakening of Earth
    • Feeling of Loss in the Process of Attaining the Superconscious State
  • Paranoid-Schizoid
    • Regarding the Antisocial Personality
    • On Psychiatric ‘Labels’
  • Projective Identification
    • Regarding the Antisocial Personality
    • Regarding the Hypothetical Astral Story of the Cannibal
  • On the Relationship Between the Paranoid-Schizoid Patient and the Therapist
    • A Caveat for Psychologists
  • Anxiety, Feelings of Persecution, Defense Mechanisms
  • Splitting, Introjection, and Projection
    • Story of the Silver Bullet, an Example of Anal-Sadistic Impulses
    • Regarding the Awakening on Earth
  • Catastrophic Anxiety and Threat to the Ego
    • Regarding the Awakening on Earth
    • Sense of Loss When a Person Is Attaining Enlightenment
  • Feelings of Annihilation
    • Regarding the Hypothetical Astral Story of the Cannibal
      • Imitative Social Mask, Mind Control Abilities, Mass Hypnosis Abilities
      • The Psychic Power of Omnipresence or Ubiquity
      • How the Power of Omnipresence Fits in with the Powers of Mind Control and Mass Hypnosis
    • Regarding the Awakening on Earth
  • Sense of Abandonment, Hatred of the Mother, Despair, Ego Collapse
    • Attachment as a Primary Objective of the Antisocial Personality
      • He Might Find the Idea of Loss Intolerable
      • He Might Use Remote Mind Control or Mass Hypnosis to Prevent Loss
      • He Might Murder or Arrange for the Murder of Those Who Threaten to Abandon Him
      • He Might Kill Women; and He Might Have Homosexual Feelings
    • Regarding the Awakening on Earth
  • Projection, Introjection, and the Push-Pull of Projective Identification
    • Regarding the Awakening on Earth
  • Sense of Betrayal, of the Inevitability of Loss, and of Being Persecuted
    • Regarding the Hypothetical Astral Story of the Cannibal
    • Regarding the Awakening on Earth

Dear Ones,

For those not in the know, this blog is not about me; I researched the topic to do with what intuition told me might be a ‘Controller’ who was the head of a ‘killing cult’. I had left the group, and felt at the time (some time ago) that I was in danger of being murdered by members of the group at his behest, and because of his anger towards me at leaving the group as soon as I got a whiff of what was going on there.

EARLY CHILDHOOD LOSS AND EARTH’S AWAKENING

On the clairaudient plane in recent years, I have been noticing something like what Robert Waska, MFT, PHD, FIPA, has described in a psychological context in the book “Primitive Experiences of Loss: Working with the Paranoid-Schizoid Patient” …

Link: “Primitive Experiences of Loss: Working with the Paranoid-schizoid Patient,” by Robert T. Waska,  published by Karnac Ltd, 2002 … https://books.google.com/books?id=nrxWbDqAB44C&pg=PR1&lpg=PR1&dq=PRIMITIVE+EXPERIENCES+OF+LOSS+WORKING+WITH+THE+PARANOID-SCHIZOID+PATIENT+waska&source=bl&ots=QHrM7WADFe&sig=ybO06GpsM6-AHN3_95PDx0JCkZg&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjq5JG7idPPAhWG5oMKHcr5DgIQ6AEIPDAG#v=onepage&q=PRIMITIVE%20EXPERIENCES%20OF%20LOSS%20WORKING%20WITH%20THE%20PARANOID-SCHIZOID%20PATIENT%20waska&f=false ..

Although this topic is not personal to me, I do feel there may be traces of the egoic stress Dr. Waska describes that are feathering out through Earth’s noosphere right now. [This had to do with a man I characterized in later blogs as an antisocial personality.]

I take it the stress factor is people’s perception that we humankind, we children of Mother Earth, may need to deal with the loss of our Mother, and indeed of all that we hold to be ‘true’ reality, as the Ascension process unfolds.

MY COMMENTS ON PASSAGES FROM ROBERT WASKA’S BOOK “PRIMITIVE EXPERIENCES OF LOSS WORKING WITH THE PARANOID-SCHIZOID PATIENT”

Because I am not a psychologist, I found this book on “Primitive Experiences of Loss” best to be read with my Wikipedia definitions of psychological terms close at hand, and I have included some of these definitions in the blog below, for those of my readers who are not versed in psychology. This is a great book to purchase and read, a ground-breaking book, I feel. You can purchase it handily at Google Books.

In the blog below, I have selected some passages that are pertinent to …

  • The Antisocial Cannibal Astral Stories: The hypothetical astral stories I have been hearing about a child who killed his mother, ate a little of her corpse out of hunger, and then became an antisocial personality, serial killer, and cannibal. (For more on this, see my blog categories:  Antisocial personalities  …  Cannibalism  …  Catastrophic childhood experiences  …  Circle of one …  Serial killers
  • The Awakening of Earth: How, through clair hearing, the noosphere has [in July 2015] has seemed to be reflecting thoughts and emotions to do with loss; this I believe has to do with the great clearing of humankind’s Soul wounding that is taking place, and with the ‘Everything new’ quality of the Awakening process for all humankind.
  • Feeling of Loss in the Process of Attaining the Superconscious State: Also mentioned, although not in great detail, are feelings of loss a person may experience while in the process of attaining Enlightenment, or the Superconscious state.

Because of copyright restrictions, I can only refer to the text below (I am not able to quote it). After each reference, I then offer my comments. Often these are in the sections titled “Regarding the Awakening on Earth.”

Take away what you like from the below analysis. Know that every psychological condition described in every learned book on the topic will be completely healed as the regenerative power of the Incoming Light restores us all to perfect health of body, mind, and emotions.

Paranoid-Schizoid

Citation: “Primitive Experiences of Loss Working with the Paranoid-Schizoid Patient,” by Robert T. Waska, published by Karnac Ltd, 2002 … See “Preface,” page vii, paragraph 1, beginning:  I have  …  and the first sentence of paragraph 2, beginning:  The patients 

This describes how the author has worked with patients who have experienced early childhood loss, and has found that many of them fall into the psychological category ‘paranoid-schizoid’. I looked this term up in Wikipedia, and will quote at length, as the Wikipedia passage clearly sets forth some of the terms and theories discussed in detail in later analysis of Dr. Waska’s book. Per Wikipedia …

“The paranoid-schizoid position is considered the state of mind of children from birth to four or six months of age. Although this position develops into the next position, it is normal to move back and forward between the two positions although some people operate in the paranoid-schizoid position for much of the time. As one of the originators of Object Relations theory, Klein sees emotions as always related to other people or objects of emotions. Relations during these first months are not to whole objects but only to part objects, such as the breast, the mother’s hands, her face etc.

“Paranoid refers to the central paranoid anxiety, the fear of invasive malevolence. This is experienced as coming from the outside, but ultimately derives from the projection out of the death instinct. Paranoid anxiety can be understood in terms of anxiety about imminent annihilation and derives from a sense of the destructive or death instinct of the child. In this position before the secure internalisation of a good object to protect the ego, the immature ego deals with its anxiety by splitting off bad feelings and projecting them out. However, this causes paranoia. Schizoid refers to the central defense mechanism: splitting, the vigilant separation of the good object from the bad object.

“Klein posited that a healthy development implies that the infant has to split its external world, its objects and itself into two categories: good (i.e., gratifying, loved, loving) and bad (i.e. frustrating, hated, persecutory). This splitting makes it possible to introject and identify with the good. In other words: splitting in this stage is useful because it protects the good from being destroyed by the bad. Later, when the ego has developed sufficiently, the bad can be integrated, and ambivalence and conflict can be tolerated.

“Later with greater maturity and the resolution of the depressive position, the ego is able to bring together the good and bad object thereby leading to whole object relations. Achieving this involves mourning the loss of the idealised object, and associated depressive anxieties [termed the depressive position] ….” –from Link: “Paranoid-Schizoid and Depressive Positions,” in Wikipedia,  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paranoid-schizoid_and_depressive_positions … CC BY-SA 3.0

Regarding the Antisocial Personality. Note from the above quotation that children are typically in this state of awareness during infancy, which would be up to the first 6 months of age, approximately. They then move to the depressive position. However, an experience of catastrophic early childhood loss can throw the personality back into a state I term ‘antisocial personality’. More on this farther down in the blog.

On Psychiatric ‘Labels’. I do feel that the practice of ‘labeling’ folks with psychiatric terms is dehumanizing and antithetical to the goal of healing. I feel the main difficulty here is the classification by cause or symptom rather than by the potential healing effect. For instance, we might re-term the ‘paranoid-schizoid’ label as ‘bonding therapy’ or the like … in the same way that those who have experienced a bout with cancer now term themselves ‘cancer survivors’, putting a positive twist on it… although ‘totally healthy’ might be a better term.

Citation: “Primitive Experiences of Loss Working with the Paranoid-Schizoid Patient,” by Robert T. Waska, published by Karnac Ltd, 2002 … See “Preface,” page vii, paragraph 2, second sentence, beginning:  In this …

This sentence explains that paranoid-schizoid patients (or possibly patients who have experienced early childhood loss) use projective identification to organize their world view.

Projective Identification

Citation: “Primitive Experiences of Loss Working with the Paranoid-Schizoid Patient,” by Robert T. Waska, published by Karnac Ltd, 2002 … See “Introduction,” page 1, last paragraph, beginning:  Projective identification  … Also read the continuation of this paragraph on page 2.

Projective Identification is a very interesting concept, as it is often encountered, among the clair gifted, in the astral stories they hear circulating round the noosphere. Here is Wikipedia’s definition of this term …

“Projective identification is a term introduced by Melanie Klein to describe the process whereby in a close relationship, as between mother and child, lovers, or therapist and patient, parts of the self may in unconscious fantasy be thought of as being forced into the other person….:  –from Link: “Projective Identification,” in Wikipedia … https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Projective_identification … CC BY-SA 3.0

Regarding the Antisocial Personality. Note that Projective Identification can also be used by an antisocial personality who has experienced early childhood loss, and who believes that other people are merely projections of himself … which is to say, parts (whether ‘good parts’ or ‘bad parts’) of his own ego.

In the clair realm, this is heard as the ego of the antisocial personality attempting to hypnotize or mind control other people, and experiencing great anxiety when this cannot be accomplished. Looked at from the perspective of his world view, this massive anxiety is entirely understandable: If he cannot control these inconsequential ‘parts’ of himself, then his world view will be in error. Thus, he must be able to control them; failing this, he will kill them. In this way his world view will remain intact.

Regarding the Hypothetical Astral Story of the Cannibal. I mentioned earlier in this blog the hypothetical astral story of a child who has killed his mother, and eaten a little of her corpse out of hunger (also described in other of my blogs … see my blog category: Cannibalism ).

For this putative antisocial personality who is also a serial killer and cannibal, if his world view were proven wrong, then he would need to deal with the catastrophic consequence that he is guilty of matricide and cannibalism in the eyes, not of people who are mere parts of himself, but of the majority of sentient beings on Earth.

Whereas, if his own world view is intact, his early childhood act merely destroyed a ‘bad part’ … in the case I referenced elsewhere, a part that would not gratify the child sexually.

On the Relationship Between the Paranoid-Schizoid Patient and the Therapist

Citation: “Primitive Experiences of Loss Working with the Paranoid-Schizoid Patient,” by Robert T. Waska, published by Karnac Ltd, 2002 … See “Introduction,” page 1 … and read the first sentence of the first full paragraph on page 2, beginning:  I feel that

This sentence explains how a patient’s early childhood loss experience relates to bonding with the psychologist.

A Caveat for Psychologists: Note here that unless this is fully understood, the patient may, in a clinical setting, engage the dynamic of part-object destruction referenced below. That is to say, the life of the psychologist may be at risk. In the case of the antisocial personality, he will feel that he is projecting into the psychologist, and not the other way around.

Further, in a clair scenario, the therapist may project loss onto another person so that the patient’s destruct sequence unfolds with regard to that other person. That is to say, if my hypothesis that these patients have well developed hypnotic and mind control skills is true, then their tendency to project, to mind control, and to enact early childhood loss scenarios may cause the psychologist to be mind controlled and to ‘act out’ in his or her own family life the patient’s early childhood trauma.

Judy Satori’s Light activations regarding Faith may be of use to clair ‘projected upon’ folks here … Surf to Link: “Ascension Library” … https://www.ascensionlibrary.org/ … Search the term: faith … Judy Satori’s website has seen quite a changeup; I am not sure whether this information still might be found there, but if not, maybe you could contact her to find out if it is available.

Anxiety, Feelings of Persecution, Defense Mechanisms

Citation: “Primitive Experiences of Loss Working with the Paranoid-Schizoid Patient,” by Robert T. Waska, published by Karnac Ltd, 2002 … See “Introduction,” page 2, the second full paragraph beginning:  To explore …  through the fourth full paragraph ending:  [p. 22]

This passage describes how Melanie Klein introduced the notion of paranoid-schizoid behavior in the year 1946. It also succinctly describes what early childhood experiences precipitate paranoid-schizoid behavior, and offers a summary of her findings.

To paraphrase and adapt, a very young child feels anxious, feels the threat of persecution, and because of this, develops ways to defend itself from these feelings. Which defense mechanisms the child chooses determine whether it will develop normally or as a schizophrenic.

Splitting, Introjection, and Projection

Citation: “Primitive Experiences of Loss Working with the Paranoid-Schizoid Patient,” by Robert T. Waska, published by Karnac Ltd, 2002 … See “Introduction,” page 2, the final paragraph beginning:  She then  …  which continues on to page 3, and pages 3 and 4, ending:  [p. 4]

Of particular note is the description here of a good or gratifying mother’s breast, and a bad or unsatisfying mother’s breast. Accordingly, at a very young age, the infant begins to separate objects in the world that it loves from those that it hates. This separation of good object from bad object is called Splitting. Wikipedia defines Splitting thus ,,,

“Splitting (also called black-and-white thinking or all-or-nothing thinking) is the failure in a person’s thinking to bring together the dichotomy of both positive and negative qualities of the self and others into a cohesive, realistic whole. It is a common defense mechanism used by many people…. The individual tends to think in extremes (i.e., an individual’s actions and motivations are all good or all bad with no middle ground). [the failure in a person’s thinking to bring together both positive and negative qualities of the self and others into a cohesive, realistic….” –from Link: “Splitting,” in Wikipedia … https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Splitting_(psychology) … CC BY-SA 3.0

The above-referenced paragraph also explains introjection of the good breast. Per Wikipedia:

“Introjection (German: Introjektion) is a psychoanalytical term with a variety of meanings. Generally, it is regarded as the process where the subject replicates in itself behaviors, attributes or other fragments of the surrounding world, especially of other subjects. Cognate concepts are identification, incorporation, … and internalization. To use a simple example, a person who picks up traits from their friends (e.g., a person who begins frequently exclaiming “Ridiculous!” as a result of hearing a friend of theirs repeatedly doing the same) is introjecting.” –from Link: “Introjection,” in Wikipedia … https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Introjection … CC BY-SA 3.0 

The term Projection, also referred to in this passage, apparently has several meanings in a psychological context. However, I would like to stick with the following definition right now, as it is the one I am familiar with, having observed it time and time again in the clair subject who became a cannibal, as described above. Here is Wikipedia on the use of the term Projection in psychology …

“Psychological projection is a theory in psychology in which humans defend themselves against their own unconscious impulses or qualities (both positive and negative) by denying their existence in themselves while attributing them to others…. For example, a person who is habitually rude may constantly accuse other people of being rude. It incorporates blame shifting.” –from Link: “Psychological Projection,” in Wikipedia … https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_projection … CC BY-SA 3.0

With regard to the above passage, to simplify: The young child may introject or internalize objects it perceives as good or gratifying, and it may project out from itself, and onto ‘bad’ objects, what within itself it perceives as ‘bad’.

For those objects the infant perceives as ‘bad’ … such as the ungratifying or frustrating breast of its mother, the infant feels hatred, and a destructive impulse arises against that object. Oral-sadistic fantasies arise. The infant, to interject, may bite that breast, or strike her body. He may have what is termed anal-sadistic impulses, such as the desire to put his own excrement in her. This is the desire to enter into her body, which I elsewhere describe as ‘mind control’. The passage explains that these oral-sadistic and anal-sadistic infant fantasies can lead to paranoia and schizophrenia.

Story of the Silver Bullet, an Example of Anal-Sadistic Impulses. I am reminded to a case, in astral vision, where the man I had been hearing on the ‘astral airs’ placed a gun in the rectum of one of his woman followers, a long-time member of his ‘killing cult’, as the ‘astral airs’ would have it, and fired it, so that the bullet lodged just below her sternum. Apparently he murdered her in this way, and the body was never found, or else misidentified.

The day before, he had had an argument with her, regarding whether he ought to euthanize her, so that he could gather to himself her houses and her financial assets. He had explained that she was at about that age where he ought to euthanize her. She had disagreed.

Then that night the man and his wife, wearing disguises they had gaily devised at home, went to the home of another follower where she was spending the night, anticipating an airplane flight to return home the following day. They woke her from her slumbers, brought her into the living room, and there the man murdered her.

It is the manner of the murder, portrayed in an astral vision, that makes me feel it is an expression of anal-sadistic impulses.

Regarding the Awakening on Earth. In terms of the breakdown of integrative behavior due to great loss … such as that experienced by the psyche during the new Age of Light on Earth (where everything is threateningly new) … pejorative clair phrases referencing rectal intercourse, and the variously phrased thoughts of rape, which occasionally build through repetition and the ‘glom’ effect to angst-provoking crescendo in the noosphere, as well as the innuendos of robbery, killing, and other ‘threat energy‘, might be considered expressions of anal-sadistic impulses described above, and of feelings of persecution.

Thus it seems that ‘Ascension anxieties‘ are being expressed through the unconscious thought cloud of the world. It is also possible that part of what is heard are the thought processes of infants here on Earth now, or even thought forms in the astral plane, no longer appropriate to Earth’s energies, and awaiting transformation to more loving, more refined energy through the Incoming Light or through the conscious loving alchemy of humankind.

I note that these have greatly diminished in the last month [this post was on 10 July 2015], at least as regards my own clair hearing.

Catastrophic Anxiety and Threat to Ego

Citation: “Primitive Experiences of Loss Working with the Paranoid-Schizoid Patient,” by Robert T. Waska, published by Karnac Ltd, 2002 … See “Chapter 1: Theoretical Issues,” introduction, page 16, the first paragraph, beginning:  Under certain circumstances  …  and the first sentence of the second paragraph, ending:  been rudimentary

This passage describes how experiences of loss can cause catastrophic anxiety and threaten the ego. After a traumatic loss, every other instance of loss brings up the overwhelming feelings associated with the original catastrophy. Thus the person who has experienced early childhood loss will have developed defense mechanisms to avoid recurrent feelings of anxiety and fear associated with the original loss.

Regarding the Awakening on Earth. There is an analogy with the world at large, right now, which is experiencing feelings of anxiety and fear because of the loss of the commonplace, loss of the physical illusion, loss of the safety of the usual way of conceiving the world. When these feelings of loss of the ordinary are overwhelming, then a person can have panic attack after panic attack. It may seem like all is lost … like the world is ending. This is how the End Times stories became associated with the Shift, and why we Lightworkers envision and promulgate instead the notion of New Life on New Earth. For those readers who do not follow the notions of the Shift and the Awakening …

Sense of Loss When a Person Is Attaining Enlightenment. When a person is attaining enlightenment … also known as the superconscious state … the same feelings of catastrophic loss may well up, and that person may be subject to panic attacks or generalized anxiety. This process of Awakening on Earth may be likened to the attainment of Enlightenment, or of the superconscious state, by all humankind, and so, the feeling of loss, as expressed in our noosphere, and as heard by the clair gifted, is very intense.

Feelings of Annihilation

Citation: “Primitive Experiences of Loss Working with the Paranoid-Schizoid Patient,” by Robert T. Waska, published by Karnac Ltd, 2002 … See: “Chapter 1: Theoretical Issues: Annihilation,” page 20, beginning:  Klein (1955)

This passage describes how Melanie Klein felt annihilation to be an infant’s greatest fear. This is the notion of losing an object … would that be the loss of the ‘good’ breast? Loss of the mother? This dread of loss makes it seem to the infant that he or she is being persecuted by the lost object. This causes ego collapse, and a feeling of annihilation.

Regarding the Hypothetical Astral Story of the Cannibal. I have experienced this in the clair realm, purportedly coming from an antisocial personality who experienced early childhood loss through burning down his house, with his mother in it, and eating a part of her charred body; in this hypothetical astral story, the child later became a serial killer and cannibal, as described in others of my blogs; for example …

Link: “Alice’s Perilous Tales: The Greater Oblation,” by Alice B. Clagett, filmed on 19 January 2020; published on 23 January 2020 … https://wp.me/p2Rkym-g9u ..

Imitative Social Mask, Mind Control Abilities, Mass Hypnosis Abilities. This man purportedly first developed an excellent imitative social mask, along with great insight into the motives of ‘normal’ humans, so that he was able to convince them he was also normal, and manipulate them to his will.

These notions would have reinforced his own early childhood world view, which according to the astral stories had been catastrophically reorganized, through regression, to the notion that only he existed in the world … that all other people were either ‘good’ or ‘bad’ parts of himself … not sentient beings. Thus, he felt, he had the right to do with them as he would.

He was, so the story goes, strongly motivated to develop psychic powers, especially those of mind control and mass hypnosis. The reason for this is self-evident, and thus I believe that his attraction to these arts is not unusual among antisocial personalities.

The Psychic Power of Omnipresence or Ubiquity. Through occult studies, he developed the power of omnipresence or ubiquity. This is the ability to be telepathically present anywhere on Earth. This is a power that is said to be developed through study of such occult arts as Patanjali’s Yoga Aphorisms, among others …

Citation: “How to Know God: The Yoga Aphorisms of Patanjali,” translated with a commentary by Swami Prabhavananda and Christopher Isherwood, copyright 1953, 1981 by The Vedanta Society of Southern California

In the case of the man discussed in the current blog, this power of omnipresence was limited to those in his cult, or those known to people in his cult, or people in his community that he had met; in other words, to acquaintances.

This power of omnipresence is warned about in the occult texts, as having disastrous consequences with regard to Soul evolution, unless the person who undertakes it is of very great purity of heart …  Search my blog for the term: disincarnate gods  … This has been, in fact, the case with his followers … or so it seems, from the clair plane, which is admittedly an iffy source of facts.

How the Power of Omnipresence Fits in with the Powers of Mind Control and Mass Hypnosis. I can see where attaining the power of omnipresence would be attractive to a person whose world view includes no other humans, only good and bad parts of himself. Thus it would be easy for him to conceptualize all his acquaintances as being like a psychic mesh or net around him, with only him in ‘the driver’s seat’ … In other words, he would be the only ego in this egoic net. This would also fit with his priorly developed powers of mind control and hypnosis. However, it would fall more into the category of mass hypnosis, rather than one-on-one hypnosis.

Regarding the Awakening on Earth. As Earth is awakening, the egos of everyone on Earth are facing, or eventually to be facing, ‘annihilation’. And so, the sense of dread reported by some is understandable. On the other hand, the rewards of Awakening … which may be likened to a permanent experience of enlightenment, illumination, and spiritual ecstasy … are compelling enough to eventually overcome the ego’s sense of dread, and to allow, by glimpse and by glimmer, the loosening of the ego net and the gradual transport into the superegoic state. Or so I feel to be true of humankind in the coming months and years.

That this experience of loss by humankind during the process of Awakening supports the emotions of anxiety, dread and persecution, and does not support the emotion of love, seems to be borne out by the evolution of noospheric emotional content since the Shift in December 2012. Such is the emotional content of the noosphere, according to those gifted with clair hearing and clair vision.

Sense of Abandonment, Hatred of the Mother, Despair, Ego Collapse

Citation: “Primitive Experiences of Loss Working with the Paranoid-Schizoid Patient,” by Robert T. Waska, published by Karnac Ltd, 2002 … See: “Chapter 1: Theoretical Issues: Experiences of Loss,” page 22, first paragraph, beginning:  I wish  …  through the second paragraph, ending:  of anxiety

This passage describes how early childhood loss turns the mother into a ‘persecutory agent’ in the child’s eyes. There is a sense of abandonment, of hatred for the mother, and of despair, and what is termed ‘ego collapse’.

Attachment as a Primary Objective of the Antisocial Personality. In later life, such a patient, if an antisocial personality, might find the notion of attachment to be a first and foremost objective. In real life, for instance, a cult leader such as Charles Manson or Daniel Perez (aka Lou Castro) might act as follows …

He Might Find the Idea of Loss Intolerable. He might find the idea of loss … for instance, of friendship with an acquaintance … intolerable.

He Might Use Remote Mind Control or Mass Hypnosis to Prevent Loss. He might use powers of remote mind control, at a distance, or of mass hypnosis of his followers, if they were all in the same room, to coerce a group member who intends to leave the group into staying (You will recall I posit above that antisocial personalities may develop psychic abilities such as these because they feel threatened by other people, who may be ‘bad’ parts of themselves.)

Mass hypnosis such as that which I posit could account for the 1978 Kool-Aid murders and suicides among the members James Jones’ cult in Jonestown. See …

Link: “Jonestown,” in Wikipedia… https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jonestown ..

He Might Murder or Arrange for the Murder of Those Who Threaten to Abandon Him. Failing attempts of coercion of a ‘bad’ member to stay with the group, and faced with the alternative … the prospect of repeatedly feeling catastrophic loss reminiscent of the overwhelming early childhood loss … he might order one of his ‘good’ parts … that is, one of the cult members he is successful in mind controlling or hypnotizing … to destroy, or kill, the ‘bad’ member whom he hates.

He Might Kill Women; and He Might Have Homosexual Feelings. Because of the early experience of abandonment by the mother, he might not trust women. He might be inclined to kill them. He might also have homosexual feelings, either latent or in reality.

Regarding the Awakening on Earth. From a clair hearing perspective, the thoughts of insufferable ego dread and the spiraling anxiety characteristic of many astral stories may have to do with loss of the old reality, and fear of the need to change-up to the new Ascension skills, such as multidimensionality, and multiple timeline technology, among others.

Projection, Introjection, and the Push-Pull of Projective Identification

Citation: “Primitive Experiences of Loss Working with the Paranoid-Schizoid Patient,” by Robert T. Waska, published by Karnac Ltd, 2002 … See: “Chapter 1: Theoretical Issues: Treatment,” page 25, the paragraph beginning:  Klein (1952c)

This passage describes how, when the ego feels terrified, it populates the world outside itself with enemies. It may do this by reading about scary happenings in the daily news, for instance. This process of Projection places the terror farther from ourselves, and makes it more manageable.

In the same newspaper, a person may find accounts of events that create a feeling of nurturing or safety, and introject, or pull into himself these feelings. Projective Identification is the push and pull of creating an internal sense of security by pinning bad feelings on other people, and transplanting good feelings from other people into ourselves.

Regarding the Awakening on Earth. As the cycle of New Life on New Earth continues, I feel this good outcome will be available to all those rising to higher consciousness, but not in the way described above. Rather, it is likely that the denser energies of Earth … for instance, sadistic and terrifying fantasies … will be clearing entirely from the noosphere.

In fact, in recent months [written in July 2015], those of us who are clair have heard and seen just this shift in the emotional content of the noosphere. This is a very new outcome for Earth. By extrapolation, refinement in the density of noospheric emotions, continuing during the coming months and years, likely will filter down into physical form. Physical manifestation of astral content does take time due to the relative immutability of physical matter.

Sense of Betrayal, of the Inevitability of Loss, and of Being Persecuted

Citation: “Primitive Experiences of Loss Working with the Paranoid-Schizoid Patient,” by Robert T. Waska, published by Karnac Ltd, 2002 … See: “Chapter 2: Greed, Self-Starvation, and the Quest for Safety,” pages 37-8, beginning:  To illustrate  …  and ending:  feeds on itself

This passage describes instances of paranoid-schizoid patient interactions from the author’s practice. The author speaks of the patient’s feelings of rage, desire, and greed, and how these in reality represent a fantasy that the need for love will be met with retaliation and revenge …

  • This is a notion of betrayal lurking in the wings;
  • Of the inevitability of loss after loss;
  • Of the persecutory notion that others will hunt the patient down and destroy him.
  • And, the author notes ‘excessive’ use of Projective Identification as a coping mechanism.

Regarding the Hypothetical Astral Story of the Cannibal. This goes along with my clair observations of a putative astral story about an antisocial personality (the cannibal) who had experienced early childhood loss of the mother. Each time he felt guilty, he had a habit of saying: I didn’t do it! That person did it!  On the other side of the coin, I note, per Wikipedia, that projection of our own negative qualities onto other people is commonplace.

Regarding the Awakening on Earth. The feelings presented to the clair gifted through noospheric disturbances since the December 2012 Shift are quite similar to those expressed in this book about primitive loss. Quite often the noosphere has been roiled by feelings of anxiety, threat energies, rage, desire and greed. The astral stories have been expressing these energies as well.

For more on these kinds of noospheric disturbances, see Tom Kenyon’s blog …

Link: “Cognitive and Emotional Challenges during Chaotic Nodes,” by Tom Kenyon … https://tomkenyon.com/cognitive-and-emotional-challenges-during-chaotic-nodes ..

In love, light and joy,
I Am of the Stars

P.S. I have included this blog in the categories Hinduism and Neo-Hinduism – Neo-Vedanta  as the Indian Saint the Vallalar, and Sri Aurobindo of Integral Yoga are often connected to the concepts of omnipresence, omniscience, and omnipotence.

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anger, ego, grief, psychology, soul devolution, unconscious thought cloud of the world, anxiety, coping, dread, ego terror, healing, introjection, loss, noosphere, panic, paranoid-schizoid, persecution, persecutory fears, projective identification, psychology, psychiatry, rage, regeneration, safety, soul clearing, Jonestown, James Jones, Kool-Aid murders, cannibal, cannibalism, abandonment, annihilation, hatred, despair, clair, loss, psychology, noosphere, Gaia, Ascension anxieties, unconscious thought cloud of the world, early childhood loss, psychiatry, antisocial personality, serial killer, cannibal, cannibalism, ascension anxieties, panic attack, generalized anxiety, threat energy, persecution, destruction, murder, anal-sadistic, oral-sadistic, projection, projective identification, Melanie Klein, Robert Waska, primitive loss, paranoid schizoid, depressive position, introjection, enlightenment, superconscious state, loss, remote mind control, mass hypnosis, attachment in the antisocial personality, killing cults, timeline technology, multidimensionality, ascension skills, betrayal, Patanjali, Hinduism, Neo-Vedanta, Vallalar, Sri Aurobindo,  omnipresence, omniscience, omnipotence, superconscious mind, neo-hinduism, Lou Castro, Daniel Perez, Heart Vampire,

Loss, the Ego, Enlightenment, the Void, and Co-creation of Reality . by Alice B. Clagett

Filmed on 24 May 2015; published on 8 July 2015; revised and transcribed on 13 November 2015

  • VIDEO BY ALICE
  • SUMMARY OF THE VIDEO
    • Catastrophic Early Childhood Loss
    • An Example of Catastrophic Early Childhood Loss: Heart Vampire
    • Circle of One: The Sociopath, Psychopath, or Anti-Social Personality
      • Love Relationships: Seeking to Destroy the Other.
      • Iterations of Soul Wounding: Their True Purpose
    • Young Love Amongst Normals: Perfecting Dissociation from ‘Part Object’ Orientation
    • Sabotaging Body Elementals: Star-Crossed Love
    • Recap
      • Early Childhood Loss
      • Sense of Omnipresence of the Sociopath, versus that of the Empath
      • Divine Grace and Iterations of Soul Wounding
      • On Young Love and a Lesser Sense of Loss
      • On Returning the Heart Chakra to Full Functionality
      • The Current Age of Renewal, Regeneration, and New Creation
      • Star Memories versus the Duality Play
      • Ascension: An Unparalleled Sense of Loss
      • Courage and the Void
      • For Those Who Are ‘on the Fence’ with Regard to Ascension …
    • WAYS TO HEAL ROMANTIC  OR NURTURING LOSS

Dear Ones,

This video describes loss in various contexts, including:

  • Some general views from my reading of this excellent book: “Primitive Experiences of Loss Working with the Paranoid-Schizoid Patient” by Robert T. Waska, and also some information based on my clair hearing of astral stories, and intuitive understandings I have come to through clair hearing of these stories.
  • A notion that Ascension and Enlightenment experiences of clearing Soul wounding may also bring up a feeling of loss, as we integrate the full functioning of the heart chakra.
  • Integration, through grace, at a higher level of Awareness, where we are one with the Divine.
  • And there is a discussion of first love and first loss among well-adjusted young people as well, and on overcoming resultant reticence to dare to love again.

There is an edited Summary after the video …

VIDEO BY ALICE

SUMMARY OF THE VIDEO

Hello, Dear Ones, It’s Alice.

Catastrophic Early Childhood Loss

I was reading a very learned psychological treatise the other day; the topic was early childhood loss of comforting relationships, and a state of mind that they call paranoid-schizoid

Link: “Primitive Experiences of Loss: Working with the Paranoid-Schizoid Patient,” by Robert T. Waska, Counselor, LPCC, MFT, PhD … https://books.google.com.cy/books?id=nrxWbDqAB44C&printsec=copyright#v=onepage&q&f=false ..

I am not much for labels, but I did find interesting some of the insights that they had about the ego, and the way that it develops in early childhood. It seems that loss of comforting, sustaining relationships in early childhood causes certain ways of relating to the third dimension of reality ,,, that are very like what everyone else … all the the other egos in the world … are doing; but it is just slightly more exaggerated. So, what I learned was a lesson for me as well …

It was something like this … I am going to try; I am putting my own slant on this … Say, a baby is newborn. It sees things in a kind of cascade, without any labels … without any relational significance to its own needs … without any concept of parts being a whole (as in, a ‘whole person’, for instance, its mother).

But rather, one of the very first things is that there is a certain portion … of something … in its field of vision, that creates a sensation of fullness in its stomach, that is pleasing. And this is the very first, and a very important thing, that a child has to do, in order to stay alive: To bond with that instinct of suckling; that instinct of suckling and receiving milk.

So, very early on, the child becomes, in its visual field, attached to the look of that breast of its mother. And in addition, shortly thereafter, when its eyes clear, it begins to recognize a twinkle in her eye. And then the twinkle in her eye, and a smile on her lips, and the vision of her breast, and the feeling of fullness in the stomach which is pleasing.

So there are three of what this author calls ‘part objects’ that the child identifies with … visual objects: The eye, the smile, and the breast.

Over and over again, say, in the course of a year, the child sees the vision of these ‘part objects’, feels a pleasant sensation, and then experiences a sense of loss as the mom walks out of the room or goes about her work. It is a long time before the child begins to understand, through a process of give and take … of receiving something pleasant, and then losing that sensation of pleasantness … say, by the mom walking out of the room, something more than this.

Say 365 days, or however long … and the child begins to realize a sense of permanence there. And that sense of permanence is its experience of love. It begins to understand that the parts that it sees are actually a being … a Soul … part of a Soul that has a permanent relationship of give and take with itself; the beginning of societal or tribal bonding.

In the bottom of its mind, though, it still has these ‘part objects’, and on top of that … superimposed on that … is a new learning experience of a mature relationship with another being … Truly, a relationship of dependence at first; but as a child gets a little older … after the age of two, it starts to realize that it, itself, is an independent being with free will. So then it becomes a more mature relationship.

An Example of Catastrophic Early Childhood Loss: Heart Vampire

All right … So then, what the gentleman in the learned psychological treatise was talking about was early childhood loss of a comforting relationship. Let’s say that, in a worst case scenario, at the age of five the child flies into a tantrum and … as is often the case with young children … has been experimenting with matches, sets fire to the family home, and all the people, except for that child, are killed in the fire.

Where does that leave the child? The first sense is: Everyone that I loved is dead, and I killed them. And the second feeling … according to this understanding that I read about … is that of a kind of regression to the early infant stage of ‘part objects’, where the ego says: It is not possible; I could not have done that. And it returns to the older way of seeing things.

So then the ego of the young child begins to imagine that the people it sees are actually not people, but rather ‘part objects’: Parts of its whole ego. And going through life like this … with this misunderstanding of things … is kind of catastrophic from the point of view of societal expectations …

Circle of One: The Sociopath, Psychopath, or Anti-Social Personality

What happens then, for instance, is that the child will use and manipulate other people without regard for free will, because, in the child’s weltanschauung, the other people are merely part objects that are part of its own Self … for its own gratification. And when grown up, it will be treating people in the same way.

Love Relationships: Seeking to Destroy the Other. Further, when this young person reaches the point of reaching out, in a love relationship, it is not uncommon for this young person to relive the childhood trauma, and seek to destroy the person whom it loves, over and over again: To do the same thing with new ‘part objects’ … new lovers.

Iterations of Soul Wounding: Their True Purpose. Now this behavior is a reaching out of the Soul; their Soul is reaching out to remember the original wounding and come to a more mature understanding. It should, I feel, be understood in that light: As a longing of the Soul for healing … I say this in hopes that we understand that kind of behavior from the perspective of Soul healing and Soul love and Soul forgiveness.

Young Love Amongst Normals: Perfecting Dissociation from ‘Part Object’ Orientation

And also, I think it is important to understand that most everybody on Earth right now has, to some degree, some aspect of that ‘part object’ orientation. What often happens is that, even in living in a very secure home environment, on first love they will be anticipating some kind of enduring relationship similar to that which has existed, so far, with the natal family. But seldom is this the case.

In the case of first love … because the skills are not all there, for a mature relationship of romance … there is a process of beginning to learn those skills. And so, frequently, first love is a very intense and painful experience of complete identification, and then, complete loss: Loss of the ‘part object’ with which the young lover wholly identified his or her own ego.

Sabotaging Body Elementals: Star-Crossed Love

So what that leaves people with, is a sort of a feeling that, If they love, they will lose. Thus …  because of this experience of failed love; of failed romance …  there is a body elemental within most of us that says: I would like to find someone!

And then it says: But if I find someone, I will lose them. [laughs]

And this is, I feel, what Judy Satori calls ‘sabotaging behavior’. It is when we give our body elementals two instructions that contradict each other …

  • One comes from the conscious mind: I would like to find someone!
  • And the other comes from the unconscious mind: If I find someone, I will lose them.

Uh oh! But it is a very simple job to clear all that with our body elementals, because they are very programmable. They are very amenable; all they want to do, is what we ask them to do; to make us happy … Because, after all, they are our own thought forms. They are our own artificial elementals.

So what we do is we say to our body elemental: This is what I want!

And they say: Yeah?

And then we could say: I want the perfect romantic relationship for me, and I would like it to last for the rest of my life, or as long as we both want it to!

And they will say: Oh! Ok!

So … walking along that road … Heading in that direction … and looking forward with great enthusiasm to some teachings by Judy Satori on that topic … no doubt, along with language of Light activations …

Link: “Ascension Library” … https://www.ascensionlibrary.org/

We will see what comes up!

Wishing you all the perfect romantic relationship! Talk to you later.

Recap

Early Childhood Loss. To tie these threads together: First, I was talking about a situation of early childhood loss, when a person reverts to an early mental milieu in which there is a lack of understanding of integration; of the parts of the visual field as separate individuals … separate people from itself. In other words, because of a very overwhelming feeling of loss and guilt, the ego of the young child reverts to a notion that what it sees … and most significantly, the people that it sees … are just part of itself; that it is all that there is in the whole known Universe … That everything it sees is just an extension of itself.

Sense of Omnipresence of the Sociopath, versus that of the Empath. This is a feeling of omnipresence, in a way. It is a feeling that an empath gets; but in this case, it is not an empathic feeling, because the proper movement of the heart chakra energy has been injured somewhat, or wounded, by the sensation of overwhelming loss.

So the feeling of omnipresence, in this instance, has to do with extension of that heart energy … that wounded heart energy … into the situation of every person in the purview of that wounded child. The child will reflect that Soul wounding in everyone; in other words, to the sociopathic child, everyone will seem to reflect his or her own Soul wounding.

In the case of a sociopathic person who is clairvoyant … that person will see, on the clair realm, people in the astral realm, in such a way that they seem to be reflecting that early childhood wounding.

Divine Grace and Iterations of Soul Wounding. The Divine purpose of this is, to allow the Soul to clear that energy and return to proper heart energy functioning.

So God, if you will … the Divine Grace in one’s life … is ever bringing to the Awareness the notion … the understanding … the re-enactment of that wounding, for the sole purpose of allowing the Soul to return to a full state of unconditional love. That is the reason for that.

The reasoning is not to injure, over and over again. It is a very compassionate God that allows this to happen. But the result … if we do not pay attention to our Soul learning, our incarnational learning, is further Soul wounding.

So … Now is the time for everyone to look at what is transpiring in the world … right in front of us … right now. That is the thing that needs clearing. That is the thing that needs healing: Anything that hurts. Anything that feels like suffering.

On Young Love and a Lesser Sense of Loss. So, that is to do with clearing from early childhood loss. And then the next thing that I talked about had to do with lesser sensations of loss of love, that most people do go through, in their first love experience: They tend to experience, to a lesser extent, the type of loss that that author was describing.

On Returning the Heart Chakra to Full Functionality. And so, their own experience, as they go through life, will be the experience of relationships that are incomplete.

And the purpose is the same: The Divine Grace, the Divine intention, if you will, is exactly the same: To allow that person to integrate the energy of full heart chakra functioning. So it is not like God punishing us; it is more like God reminding us that there is this work to do … That it is our job to do it … And, if we should ask, allowing us the Grace to accomplish it.

The Current Age of Renewal, Regeneration, and New Creation. Well, so, one thing that I forgot, and that I will mention now …

Technically, Ascension already occurred in 2012, and now we are in an age of Renewal and Regeneration and New Creation, As we become aware of all that … of how much things have changed … we are learning to use those tools.

It seems like the plant life and the animal life, and even the rocks of Earth have figured it out! Certainly the waters of New Creation are there for us to take in and transform our own being with! But we humans have mental filters that are taking their time to catch up! So the Noosphere is taking a while to catch up.

And a lot of it has to do with these experiences of loss of love.

Star Memories Versus the Duality Play. We came from the stars; we came from a situation in which love was everywhere. You did not have to look far, for a being that could meet your heart energy with its own heart energy fully open and complete.

There was no such thing as loss of the sort that we experience in the third dimension. We decided to do this great Duality experience, and … Poom! … Here we were on Earth! And most likely, the very first experience we had was an experience of loss, when we opened our eyes as newborns. Quite a shock! [laughs]

And then, on top of that, the kind of shock of which that author spoke. The shock of new love lost, of first love lost: A terrible experience, really. I mean, after the experience, and after many years of romantic love experiences, we tend to look back and say: Oh, first love! Like that …

But it is not like that at all; it is a very difficult experience to go through, for every young child. We forget how gruesome it is! And so: First love; that loss!

Ascension: An Unparalleled Sense of Loss. And here, now (to get to the final point that I was attempting to make) … Here, now, in this process of Ascension … of becoming aware of what has already happened, the ego is faced with a loss like no other … Unparalleled loss. The loss of everything known. The loss of the third dimension; the loss of the physicality as being true. The sense that everything is nothing but illusion. The very scary sense … a sense of lack of safety … intrinsic in the notion that we can create whatever we want as reality. These things are very difficult.

It is the loss of the mother again. It is the loss of the mother that is everything familiar; that is everything we have ever experienced in the way of comfort … as well as discomfort.

Courage and the Void. It is the willingness to stand in the space where there is nothing, with the understanding that there will be … do psychologists call it an ‘integration’? … That, for sure, what will follow is Grace. And what will result is something far more beautiful than anything we have ever known before, in the third dimension.

And which we remember, from those times where we were one with the Divine. We were more One than we can imagine, right now, with the presence that is complete love, complete joy, complete peace. These things are coming back to us now.

It takes bravery to stand in the face of this. And what we, on the clair plane, are experiencing … amongst those set forth as the ‘first wave’ of Ascension .. is a similar disintegration of ego … ‘part’ identification of objects … in facing this catastrophic egoic loss, this ego terror, this territoriality and this hostility of ego … that are hallmarks of what we considered to be ‘I’ in the past. These things all come up. And they set us apart from the rest of the world.

Almost all people are categorizing and labeling almost everything other than themselves as wrong and bad, and in some cases, are making all kinds of judgment calls. And that has to do with the scariness of this moment in time.

For Those Who Are ‘on the Fence’ with Regard to Ascension … I know many of you, out there, are on the fence with regard to Ascension. It is true? Or is it just a figment?

So what I am asking of you right now … if you are clair, and if you are troubled by the noospheric chaos at this moment … is to consider the possibility that these theories that I put forth today could fill the bill … Could step into that gap between the past known, and the current Void, and the future that will be what we create, which will then be known.

See if maybe the difficulty with what Tom Kenyon …

Link: “Tom Kenyon,” https://tomkenyon.com/ … Search the term: cognitive dissonance

… calls the ‘cognitive dissonance’ in the noosphere today … has to do with ego loss; great loss of comforting relationships, and maybe a regression to what has been labeled what it is labeled [smiles] … a momentary regression of the ego to a very young, infantile understanding of the Universe, preparatory to gathering that courage to step into the void, and into New Creation. [waves goodbye]

WAYS TO HEAL ROMANTIC  OR NURTURING LOSS

Here are a few ways to heal the heart after experiences of romantic loss:

  • Reprogram sabotaging body elementals (as described in the video).
  • And for romantic or nurturing loss, or to heal the heart of the cognitive dissonance of the noosphere, I recommend going to Judy Satori’s website https://www.ascensionlibrary.org/ and searching the term: Kuan Yin   … or … Quan Yin

You will find other good heart healing meditations elsewhere on the internet as well.

In love, light and joy,
I Am of the Stars

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Soul Wounding: Loss of Supportive Relationships in Early Childhood . by Alice B. Clagett

Written and published on 23 May 2015

  • LOSS OF SUPPORTIVE RELATIONSHIPS IN EARLY CHILDHOOD SENSITIZES A PERSON TO FUTURE FEELINGS OF LOSS
  • WHAT UPWELLINGS OF SOUL WOUNDING MAY FEEL LIKE
  • THE VALUE OF JOURNALING EMOTIONAL PATTERNS
  • ACTIVATIONS OF LIGHT AND SOUND AS TOOLS FOR SOUL CLEARING
  • THOUGHTS FOR LIGHTWORKERS WHO ARE REBALANCING THEIR KARMA

Dear Ones,

LOSS OF SUPPORTIVE RELATIONSHIPS IN EARLY CHILDHOOD SENSITIZES A PERSON TO FUTURE FEELINGS OF LOSS

Loss of supportive relationships in early childhood … as, for instance, the loss of a mother while in infancy, or the loss of other family members in early childhood through catastrophe … creates a great sense of disaster around the feeling of loss. And so, subsequent experiences of loss, even slight loss, bring up the early Soul wounding. It flashes up like an AV clip from the deep subconscious mind, and then is immediately suppressed by an energy barrier set in place during the original incident as an egoic protective mechanism.

WHAT UPWELLINGS OF SOUL WOUNDING MAY FEEL LIKE

From my clair studies, it appears that upwellings of Soul wounding memories create a sense of pressure, uneasiness, even dread, and then a feeling of slowly subsiding negative emotion. It is difficult, but not impossible in a state of deep relaxation and conscious awareness, to witness the momentary flash of the AV clip. Fortunately, observing the AV clip is not necessary to resolve the wounding.

THE VALUE OF JOURNALING EMOTIONAL PATTERNS

The thing to do is to observe when emotions come up in daily life. Especially, repeating patterns of negative emotion. Journal these daily.

So in the case of loss of supportive relationships in early childhood, I would advise noting down upwellings of loss feelings and what seems to be the trigger. After a few days of journalling, I  would ‘get’ that there is an issue with loss. Or, it might be an issue with abundance. Or with validation. Or with projection of other folks’ opinions on me. And so on.

ACTIVATIONS OF LIGHT AND SOUND AS TOOLS FOR SOUL CLEARING  xx

The next step, I feel, would be to clear these patterns with repetitive activations of light and sound. Right now I am trying out Judy Satori’shttps://www.ascensionlibrary.org/and Tom Kenyon’s …  http://www.tomkenyon.com/ … activations, which are working quite well. Possibly you might like them too, if clearing Soul wounding is of interest?

THOUGHTS FOR LIGHTWORKERS WHO ARE REBALANCING THEIR KARMA

I note that many Lightworkers and Starseed now incarnate have chosen to experience Soul wounding in this lifetime. I consider this a karmic rebalancing process, carefully set in place to balance the karma of the many Lightworker incarnations.

So for instance, a Lightworker who needs to clear ‘power over’ from other incarnations may have chosen to experience powerlessness in this lifetime.

Whether one is experiencing the one extreme of a polarity or the other, journaling and awareness of the current lifetime experience will allow Soul clearing of both polarities … from all lifetimes … in this lifetime. That is the power of this cycle of regeneration set in place in 2012.

In love, light and joy,
I Am of the Stars

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abundance, activations of light, advaita, akashic records, karma, languages of light and sound, lightworkers, psychology, soul wounding, healing, psychology, loss, early childhood loss, psychiatry,

Working with Body Elementals: Childhood Trauma . by Alice B. Clagett

Filmed on 2 May 2015; published on 8 May 2015; revised
Previously titled: Body Elementals and Childhood Trauma

  • VIDEO BY ALICE
  • SUMMARY OF THE VIDEO

Dear Ones,

VIDEO BY ALICE

This is about working with other people’s body elementals to heal their childhood trauma. There is an edited Summary after the video …

VIDEO  BY ALICE

SUMMARY OF THE VIDEO

Hello, Dear Ones, It’s Alice.

I met someone on the astral plane some time ago. They had a terrible tragedy in their childhood. Now you may be thinking: Maybe it’s me! … But if you are thinking that, it is probably not you.

This person  had a terrible tragedy in their childhood, and they lost everyone in their family. And when that happened, in their deep subconscious mind, they said to themselves: I have nobody.

The force of this tragedy was so strong that one of their body elementals assimilated this emotion and this thought form in such a way that it became the premise of their life. Further, the situation was so traumatic that they did not remember it.

In this person’s astral interactions, the body elemental is always coming forth with this message: I have nobody. I need somebody.

In cognitive processes, this is being translated very literally, as being that they have no body. They need some body. And so, their astral form is going out and trying to grab other people’s bodies because it thinks (is brainwashed into so thinking by the body elemental that represents the childhood trauma, actually) it has no body of its own. This is what is happening.

Actually, it is the body elemental that says that sentence on the astral plane; it is like a preprogramming. It has an intelligence, but it does not have the ability to reprogram itself. So what needs to happen, is for the body elemental that has taken on the essence of the terrible tragedy to get new programming.  We ourselves have to do that.

Generally speaking, with body elementals, the thing to do is to program them with something fun, because fun creates its own payback, or feedback loop. The minute that the body elemental says something fun, the person … the Spirit within … wants to repeat it. It does not really want all that tragic stuff.

So I came up with something: When that person, on the astral plane, comes to me and says: I need some body … Then I say: You are somebody. You have four body vehicles. Then the body elemental goes back to its person, and reports back to them. Every time it comes over my way with: I have no body. I need somebody … I send it back again with the same message.

As a third party, I can try to reprogram the body elemental. But it’s really up to the Soul and Spirit and ego and mind of the other person to decide whether or not they want to use that. So, if their Spirit approves, then this reprogramming of the body elemental will take place. And the Spirit will no longer go forth seeking others, when, in fact, all that it needs and all that it is, is right within its own heart.

In love, light and joy,
I Am of the Stars

Video: Jefferson Airplane – Somebody to Love (Live at Woodstock Music & Art Fair, 1969), by ernest747, 17 September 2011 … https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2EdLasOrG6c ..

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astral planes, body elementals, healing, loss, unconscious thought cloud of the world, astral realm, childhood loss, childhood trauma, great awakening, psychological trauma, PTSD, unconscious mind, symbolism, subconscious symbolism,

Thoughts on the Controllers, True Power, Lightwork, and a Truer Reality . by Alice B. Clagett

  • THE MACHINATIONS OF THE CONTROLLERS
  • TRUE POWER RESIDES IN THE HEART
  • CONTROLLERS UNDERMINE OUR COMPASSION WITH RELIGIOUS CASTRATION MALWARE
  • LIGHTWORKERS INFECTED WITH CASTRATION MALWARE ARE AFFLICTED WITH HATRED AND OTHER NEGATIVE EMOTIONS
  • ON FIGHTING SOCIAL INJUSTICE WHILE STILL IN A STATE OF EGO
    • A Story about Duck Hunting
    • Why Do We Not Notice Our Shadow?
    • Does the Act of Fighting Social Injustice Light Up the Heart?
  • SHALL WE SACRIFICE OUR HEARTS TO CONSERVE GOODNESS AND LIGHT?
  • Dynamics of the Illusion of Duality
    • The Vesica Piscis
    • Duality: I and Other
  • ALICE’S PERILOUS TALES: MEMORIES OF HOMEWORLD DESTRUCTION . PLANET MALDEK?
  • ON TURNING FEAR OF SOCIAL ISOLATION INTO AN ADVAITA EXPERIENCE
  • ON BEING AT PEACE WITH THINGS AS THEY ARE

Dear Ones,

THE MACHINATIONS OF THE CONTROLLERS

Through entirely unintentional clairaudient eavesdropping, I have found in the last few years, to my dismay, that the Controllers are quite intelligent, and quite versed in human motivation. They have devious ways of using our innate human tendencies so as to take our true power away from us. I have described a few of the things I have discovered about their mode of operation below, with a view to sidestepping their machinations. These ideas may seem pretty radical to you. At least, they did to me.

TRUE POWER RESIDES IN THE HEART

My first thought is this: True power resides in the heart, and not in the navel point. The power of the heart is not Power Over Others, but the power to recognize our true nature. Our true nature is Love. When we align with our true nature, the power of all that is resides in us. So, if I want to sidestep these powerful Controllers, the only solution is to feel my heart. To feel love, gratitude, appreciation, and the like … no matter what is coming down in the illusion, no matter what drama appears to be unfolding. And even when my survival instinct is shouting: “Duck and cover! Get out the guns! Women and children, head for the hills!” And so on…

CONTROLLERS UNDERMINE OUR COMPASSION WITH RELIGIOUS CASTRATION MALWARE

Many spiritual people live their lives in kindness and compassion, in service to others. The Controllers know about this tendency, and have developed a ploy that is exerted through organized religion, and that has to do with negative concepts about the sex drive … what in the 4D world are visualized as images of genital mutilation broadcast through the unconscious thought cloud of the world during our nightly dreamtime.

This nightly broadcasting of thoughts abhorrent to the vital body has had its effect on the world’s religions. At this moment in time, I would be hard pressed to find a religion … Judaism being one exception I can think of … that doesn’t promote negativity about the sexual act.  Some religions even go so far as to say that complete celibacy is the only true spiritual path.

What does this mental distortion of our basic sexual urge and need do? It shuts down our second chakra, our powerhouse of creativity as it is expressed in the world. It shuts off the flow of loving energy from Mother Earth to our heart. And so it deprives us of our Heart toroid energy, through which we might otherwise identify with Prime Creator and co-create the New Reality.

LIGHTWORKERS INFECTED WITH CASTRATION MALWARE ARE AFFLICTED WITH HATRED AND OTHER NEGATIVE EMOTIONS

Consequently, in the world today, we have many spiritual people who believe they should live their lives in kindness and compassion, in service to others, and yet their hearts are full of hatred, petty spite, cruelty, jealousy, and greed. Why? Because the distortion of their sexual drive has cut off the natural flow of Earth energy, and the fourth chakra, the Heart, has quite naturally inverted. No longer the positive Powerhouse of energy … it has turned negative.

It is simply impossible to live our lives in service to others unless we serve our own hearts first and foremost. If we have mental ideas that shut down our Divine heart energy, it’s up to us to clear those ideas. When those negative ideas are cleared, the Controllers will … trust me on this! … have no way to grasp and manipulate us. None at all.

Last night at meditation some other things became clear to me. I hope I will be able to convey them clearly, as they go very deep in the fabric of 3D reality.

ON FIGHTING SOCIAL INJUSTICE WHILE STILL IN A STATE OF EGO

Many Lightworkers have a long history … incarnation after incarnation … of battling darkness. Deeply ingrained in their being is this value of saving the world from darkness. And more specifically, of rescuing people from darkness.  What, you might be thinking, could be wrong with this? At least, that’s what I thought.

A Story about Duck Hunting

Think of it like this. You are at Pastorius Reservoir on a sunny Saturday morning. Weekends and Wednesdays are hunting days at the reservoir, and you are a hunter, so there you are at one of the rickety duck blinds among the cattails on the north shore of the reservoir, with your hunting rifle and your hunting dog, and your hunter’s camouflage cap. You’re all set to shoot a few ducks and take them home to the wife for dinner.

You are looking at the ducks sitting peacefully in the water, you are thinking of the good of your family, whether the dog will misbehave and scare off the dinner, and a million other things. You calculate the angle of the Sun and double-check whether your rifle is loaded. The only thing you fail to notice is how the bright sunlight is casting your own shadow like a little puddle of Darkness behind you, and attached to your feet.

Image: Duck hunter aiming a gun …  https://wdfw.wa.gov/hunting/waterfowl/graphics/sm_duck_hunters_blind.jpg ..

For more on this, search my blog for the term: old lightworker syndrome

Why Do We Not Notice Our Shadow?

Why do we not notice the Darkness that is attached to us? Ego, which supports all these zillion thoughts of the mental mind, prevents it. It shapes our thoughts in the interests of the groups we adhere to, whether it be a family … as in the case of the hunter … or a religious group, or any kind of group at all.

Does the Act of Fighting Social Injustice Light Up the Heart?

Now imagine that you’re a Lightworker, and each duck is a social injustice, and you’re a member of a group that believes in fighting social injustice. So bringing home the ducks will fulfill your need for group approval.

Image: Duck hunter wading through marsh, duck in hand; hunting dog is following behind …  https://www.dailyrepublic.com/files/2011/05/aDuckClub-copy.jpg ..

But will it light up the Powerhouse of your heart? No. It will fill your heart with savage exultation, and imprint your mind with a tendency to future cruel acts. And what is the true source of the social injustices? Not the ducks floating on the water, but the shadow at your feet.

It is our very desire to fit in with the groups we cherish that the controllers are using to subvert our Heart energy and cloud our thinking. To turn us from Love to savagery, war, cruelty, and hatred.

SHALL WE SACRIFICE OUR HEARTS TO CONSERVE GOODNESS AND LIGHT?

Now let’s change the scene. Let’s imagine you’re still at the duck blind at Pastorius Reservoir, same ducks, same shadow, but sans the rifle and the dog. You’re a conservationist, and you’re observing the behavior of these endangered ducks, with an aim to increasing their numbers and helping them thrive in a hostile world. This is another aspect of the Lightworker lineage: Conserving the Ducks. It is grueling work, but you’re in good company.

Image: Hunters up to their necks in water, with ducks swimming nearby … https://hosted-hunts.com/files/2014/04/preview-2.jpg ..

If there is anything the Controllers would like to subvert, it’s the energy of Lightworkers, because they’ve been here for such a long time, and they’re so very close to realizing their true natures as Love. So the Controllers are pleased to see many of us Lightworkers at the duck blind, possibly cold and shivering, up to their necks in water. Not following their hearts and living their passion, but rather, bound down to a concept of duty … Whiling away their lives trying to make the world a better place.

What’s wrong with this?, I used to say. Surely this is why I am on Earth.

DYNAMICS OF THE ILLUSION OF DUALITY

The Vesica Piscis

Bill Ballard (1) was talking recently about the vesica piscis. He said that when Prime Creator decided to create the multiverse, he started with a vesica piscis. From one point, the Creator became two.

Duality: I and Other

In the picture below, imagine that one circle (‘point’) is ‘I’ … Prime Creator. Or you might say, in a 3D fragmented sense, I … my Lightworker Ego. I, Saver of Ducks. Or Hunter of Ducks, as the case may be….

The other sphere is all Creation, in the deepest sense. And in the 3D sense, it’s the ducks at Pastorius Reservoir, in whatever way my mind may be perceiving them … something to shoot down, or something to save. Or in the case of the Creator: a new way to experience Joy.

Image: “Vesica Piscis,” by Daniel B. Holean … https://www.awakenvisions.com/gallery1/VesicaPiscis.jpg ..

The interesting thing about this picture is the heart-like space in the middle, where the circles intersect. It’s as if the heart of the Creator, or in our case the great Powerhouse of our own human hearts, has been displaced from its center outward. It is this displacement of Awareness toward the front of the human aura that creates the sense of duality. Awareness in 3D consists of an egoic interplay between the thought of ‘I’ and the thought of ‘Other.’

We can think of an energy flow from our own heart … which would be represented by the dot in the center of the ‘I’ circle below … to the heart of an object extraneous to ourselves … which would be the dot in the center of the ‘Other’ circle. In the world of duality, the energy flow … from ‘I’ to ‘other’ and back again … happens a zillion times a second for every object on which our mental mind places Awareness …

Image: “Two red circles overlapping at center of each circle.” adapted by Alice B. Clagett, 12 September 2013, CC BY-SA 4.0 International, from “Awakening with Planet Earth,” https://awakeningwithplanetearth.com … DESCRIPTION: The center of one circle is labeled ‘I’ and the center of the other circle is labeled ‘Other’. There is a two-headed arrow in the area of overlap between the two centers; the arrow is labeled ‘my awareness’ … CREDITS: Red circles and center dots are adapted from Image: “Circle and Its Center,” by Zorgit, 3 August 2008, in Wikimedia Commons … https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Circle_and_its_center.svg … public domain

Image: “Two red circles overlapping at center of each circle.” adapted by Alice B. Clagett, 12 September 2013, CC BY-SA 4.0 International, from “Awakening with Planet Earth,” https://awakeningwithplanetearth.com … 

DESCRIPTION: The center of one circle is labeled ‘I’ and the center of the other circle is labeled ‘Other’. There is a two-headed arrow in the area of overlap between the two centers; the arrow is labeled ‘my awareness’ … 

CREDITS: Red circles and center dots are adapted from Image: “Circle and Its Center,” by Zorgit, 3 August 2008, in Wikimedia Commons … https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Circle_and_its_center.svg … public domain

. . . . .

What is wrong with this picture? The difficulty is that our Awareness is flowing off-center and outward to a fictional mental construct, something ‘other than’ the Divine I AM.

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ALICE’S PERILOUS TALES: MEMORIES OF HOMEWORLD DESTRUCTION . PLANET MALDEK?

Last night, during meditation, as in many meditations past, I could feel my physical body being jerked forward, again and again, into a momentary state of unconsciousness, drawn forward into the Awareness of another being. Each time I jerked upright, into conscious Awareness, my Awareness re-centered in my heart. I kept thinking, “Just cut this cord with the Other! Just be You, in your own centered Awareness!”

Each time I thought that, I was overcome by a feeling of anxiety. I saw a vision of the planet I was observing from a space vehicle, aeons ago, exploding in the night sky. Everyone and everything I ever knew or loved, annihilated in one single moment of unimaginable destruction. With the exception of the being who then stood beside me, observing from space, a fellow freedom fighter, born Maldekian whereas I was of Venusian lineage … a being whose Lightworker destiny has been interwoven with mine down through the interminable aeons since that time.

To whom has my heart unconsciously reached out, again and again? To the only other survivor of that catastrophe. One whom I met again, here on Earth, a little over a decade ago. The only known constant in all my incarnations as a Lightworker.

Here is an image I put together of my vision of the explosion of Maldek …

Composite Image: “Explosion of Planet Maldek,” adapted and compiled by Alice B. Clagett, 27 February 2023, CC BY-SA 4.0 International, from “Awakening with Planet Earth,” https://awakeningwithplanetearth.com … CREDITS: Image: “Exploding Planet with The Gimp 2.4.6,” by Universalmaster, 8 January 2008, in Wikimedia Commons … https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Exploding_Planet.png … CC BY-SA 3.0 Unported … and … Image: “Roswell UFO Museum, Roswell, New Mexico, USA.,” by jdeeringdavis from San Francisco, CA USA, 2 September 2009, in Wikimedia Commons … https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Roswell_UFO_Museum_-_Alien_spaceship_%284997519882%29.jpg … CC BY 2.0 Generic

Composite Image: “Explosion of Planet Maldek,” adapted and compiled by Alice B. Clagett, 27 February 2023, CC BY-SA 4.0 International, from “Awakening with Planet Earth,” https://awakeningwithplanetearth.com … CREDITS: Image: “Exploding Planet with The Gimp 2.4.6,” by Universalmaster, 8 January 2008, in Wikimedia Commons … https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Exploding_Planet.png … CC BY-SA 3.0 Unported … and … Image: “Roswell UFO Museum, Roswell, New Mexico, USA.,” by jdeeringdavis from San Francisco, CA USA, 2 September 2009, in Wikimedia Commons … https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Roswell_UFO_Museum_-_Alien_spaceship_%284997519882%29.jpg … CC BY 2.0 Generic

ON TURNING FEAR OF SOCIAL ISOLATION INTO AN ADVAITA EXPERIENCE

In my subconscious mind, through the long incarnations, this other being had come to represent my overarching concept of Other. During the meditation, when I tried to stop the jerking back and forth of my Awareness, I was overwhelmed by a vast sense of loss … the loss of my home world and all the beings in it. This remembered feeling of utter desperation, of darkest despair, of utter failure in my mission would drive me into an unconscious state.

The accompanying thought was: If I cease the flow of Awareness, back and forth from me to this other being, then for sure that being will die. And all I have ever loved will have wilted and died at my hand, through my failure to protect them all. My family! My friends! My world! All gone, gone forever….

There is no getting around it. This was some pretty heavy subconscious stuff-and-nonsense. But finally, in light of God that filled the meditation room, I summoned the courage to stop the outward–inward flow. And to my utter astonishment, it turned out that the other being … and all this New World as well … far from passing away … now existed within my own heart … and not in some desperate outside drama of times past or the transformation that this new world … Earth … my new home, is now going through.

ON BEING AT PEACE WITH THINGS AS THEY ARE

It came to me in a flash. There is no need to shoot anyone down. No need to save anyone. Everything is all right, just as it is! Wild but true.

Link: “We Hold a Treasure” by Mary Southard, 5 November 2015, at Mary Southard Art … https://www.marysouthard.org/we-hold-a-treasure/ … COMMENTS: This page features a beautiful art piece depicting a woman with long, flowing hair, tenderly encircling Earth. –Alice B. Clagett

So it seems there is much to love and cherish, but all within the context of the great I AM. Who is loving and cherishing? God does that work. What is my role in all this?  

My role is to be quiet, and offer myself with calmness and confidence, for service to the God. To trust that God will guide me. Stay centered in my heart. Know that the ducks of this 3D world, and the shadow beneath my 3D feet, are not the Real Deal. Far from it. What is really happening? Me, my heart, and the Divine Will.

In love, light and joy,
Alice B. Clagett
I Am of the Stars

Written and published on 12 September 2013; revised on 25 March 2023
Location: Pastorius Reservoir State Wildlife Area, La Plata County, Colorado
The text in blue font has been included in my incarnational memories.

For my incarnational memories, see … Link: “Tiny Anthologies: My Memories of Other Incarnations,” by Alice B. Clagett, compiled from prior blogs on 10 February 2019; published on 11 February 2019; revised on 19 January 2023 … https://wp.me/p2Rkym-bCE … Previously titled: “Incarnational Memories”   … and …  “Tiny Anthologies: Incarnational Memories”

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FOOTNOTE

(1) This is a totally cool video …

Video: “Integrating Lord Metatron with Meline LaFont,” by Bill Ballard, 1 September 2013 …  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UCCnpxhscSg ..

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antisocial personalities, power over, rambles through the brambles, social issues, stories, battle with darkness, duality, Controllers, ego, group mentality, killing, lightworkers, murder, peer pressure, power of the heart, Team Dark, groups, incarnations, reincarnation, Maldek, planet Maldek, anxiety, destruction of planet, loss, desperation, despair, service to others, unconscious thought cloud of the world, genital mutilation, peace, contentment, stories by Alice, Drawings by Alice, shadow of our personality, mutilation epithet, second chakra, sexual repression, social injustice, cruelty, multiverse, societal expectations, epithets, old lightworker syndrome,