Image: “Winter Solstice,” by Hans, Pixabay Content License

• SCAPEGOATING
• GASLIGHTING
• GASLIGHT MOVIES
  
• MUSICAL CREDITS

To turn off the background music, click once or twice on the arrow on the audio bar at the bottom of the page …

Dear Ones,

Here are some videos and articles on Scapegoating and Gaslighting that I have found very useful during this Winter Solstice clearing …

SCAPEGOATING

Video: “Why Your Family Hates You (8 Steps to Coping with ScapeGoating/Mobbing/Narcissism/Projection) … https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=goDE9ODAAgw … Comments: Great video. The language is a little rough, I feel, but the intent is graceful and clear.

Video: “Why Nobody Believes the Scapegoat,” by Mary Toolan … https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_QbX81ij7fo ..

This is quite a good video, I feel. Here are a few notes:

• Scapegoat allows scapegoaters not to examine ‘skeletons in the closet’ – pattern of ‘love bombing’ and then a new scapegoater attack.
• At 11:30 – siblings tend to continue parental scapegoated pattern after parents pass on. Solution: Be independent. Go no-contact with family. Find a circle of friends who are positive and kind. Look for reciprocity in relationship. Know your forte.
• At 19:50 – Why nobody believes the scapegoat? Larger family circle also benefits from scapegoating. Larger family circle belief in ‘ringmasters’ (who run the scapegoat family circus?)

GASLIGHTING

Link: “What Is Gaslighting?” written by WebMD Editorial Contributors, medically reviewed by Melinda Ratini, DO, 4 May 2022, in WebMD … https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/gaslighting-signs-look-for ..

I wondered where the psychological term ‘gaslighting’ came from, and found out it came from the 1938 play “Gas Light.” Interesting! “The play, and subsequent adaptations, follows the story of a husband who manipulates his wife into believing she is losing her mind in order to control her and gain access to her inheritance.

He does this by subtly dimming the gas lights in their home and then denying any change when his wife notices it. He convinces his wife that she is only imagining it, and eventually, she begins to doubt her own perceptions and sanity.

According to what I have read, gaslighting is psychological manipulation that makes the recipient question their feelings, instincts, and even their sanity. It is one of the worst forms of dirty fighting, and it is used by both men and women. Gaslighting includes a variety of techniques, such as:

• Pretending not to understand when you do.
• Labeling your partner’s thoughts as crazy or imagined.
• Questioning the other person’s memory of events when they remember correctly.
• Pretending to forget what actually occurred when you actually remember.
• Denying promises that you know you made.
• Trivializing the other person’s feelings as being too sensitive when their reaction is somewhat normal. –from Link: “Gaslighting,” by Michael, 17 January 2020 … https://www.ananiasfoundation.org/gaslighting ..

Here are more examples of gaslighting …

• Shifting blame
• Denying the truth
• Minimizing or dismissing someone’s needs
• Constant disapproval
• Alienation or isolation of a person from support systems
• Using love as an excuse for abuse
• Pretends to have forgotten what took place or denies it happened
• Invalidating emotions
• Withholding information
• Saying: “You’re crazy”
• Saying: “You’re just being paranoid”

What to say when someone is gaslighting you is here … Link: “28 Examples of Gaslighting + Phrases to Look Out For, From Relationship Experts,” by Sarah Regan, Spirituality & Relationships Editor; expert review by Chamin Ajjan, LCSW, A-CBT, CST, 2 June 2023, in MBG Relationships, … https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/examples-of-gaslighting … COMMENTS: The list just above this link is from the same source. Luckily, lists are not copyrightable.

Link: “Origin of the Term Gaslighting,” by Anna Drescher, updated on 2 November 2023, in Simply Psychology …  https://www.simplypsychology.org/origin-of-the-term-gaslighting.html ..

Video: “What Is Gaslighting? Origin of the Term and What It Means,” by Prism Counseling and Coaching … https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ibAG-f8L2I ..

Hope you find these referrals as interesting as did I.

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These links are from my Facebook page Alice B. Clagett … https://www.facebook.com/alice.b.clagett/ … where I post nuts and bolts, Terra forma info and fun surfs …

Image: “Alice B. Clagett on Facebook,” by Alice B. Clagett, 21 December 2023, standard copyright

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GASLIGHT MOVIES

By the way, here is a spiffed up version of the 1940 film “Gas Light,” featuring Anton Walbrook and Diana Wynyard, which remains a bellwether on the topic of this dramatic genre of verbal abuse and psychological manipulation … https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYmtzaHwCKo ..

I particularly like the 1944 version of this film, which stars Charles Boyer and Ingrid Bergman. I came across this film because I am a fan of Angela Lansbury, and this was the first film in which she appeared. I imagine she might have been the only actress bold enough to take on the role of the surly tart in the movie. I really like this old-time film! Here is an introduction to to it … https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYmtzaHwCKo … The full movie is available on Amazon.com.

A very Happy Winter Solstice to all my readers!

In love, light and joy
This is Alice B. Clagett.
I Am of the Stars … and so are you!

Written and published on Winter Solstice Day, 21 December 2023

Image: “Two equinoxes are shown as the intersection of the ecliptic and celestial Ecuador, and the solstice’s times of the year in which the Sun reaches its maximum southern or northern position (ENGLISH),” by Divad, 1 June 2010, in Wikimedia Commons … https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Equinoxes-solstice_EN.svg … public domain

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MUSICAL CREDITS

 

Music by Leigh Robinson from Pixabay
“The Longest Night” – Pixabay License

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Winter Solstice 2023, Almanac, referrals, movie reviews by Alice,