Written and published on 29 July 2015; revised on 2 December 2018

Dear Ones,

Recently I have developed a sensitivity to eating ‘flesh’ … not just beef, but also chicken. Every time I eat chicken I am surrounded by a cloud of thoughts about being killed …

I remember, in my youth, my family raised chickens, both for eggs and to eat. When my dad went to kill chickens (which he would do several chickens at a time, because we had a freezer in which to keep them), he would take his hatchet and chop off their heads. I would be staring in horror … And then the headless bodies of the chickens would run around for a minute or two, not yet realizing that they were doomed.

I remember saying: Dad, they’re still alive!

He shook his head. Said, No, they just don’t know yet. Their bodies haven’t caught up with their heads. Like when you chop off a snake’s head and the body is still moving.

He was right. After a minute these headless chicken bodies would flop onto the ground. One wing would raise up, then slowly lower. The legs would straighten out, and stiffen. Then relax. And that would be that.

I never understood it. How could that ‘running around with the head chopped off’ thing happen? But basically, seems to me recently like, the feeling in the body of those headless chickens is what has been getting to me when I eat chicken lately. Like: Oh my gosh, I’ve been killed!

Being somewhat scientifically inclined, and also skeptical, last week I bought a baked chicken once again. I was thinking: No. This can’t be true!

So I tried eating a little chicken. Gosh, did that taste good! But then, right away, bam! Half a million thoughts about being killed.

But, remembering how good the chicken tasted, and how much there was still to be eaten, I waited a day. I thought: Maybe I’ll try it for breakfast. Time of day might make a difference.

So that is what I did. Very tasty! Then once again, bam! Deja vu!

So I carved up the rest of the chicken, and put it in little sandwich bags in the freezer. I do not know if I want to perform this experiment again. Maybe I will just give it to my cat.

Meantime, hummus! Tofu! Rice and beans!

In love, light and joy,
I Am of the Stars
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