Ego 1: Circle of One . I Am the Only Ego in the World . by Alice B. Clagett *

Written and published 15 August 2016; revised on 7 July 2018

    • The 4-Year-Old Boy Who Burned His Mom and Tasted Her Charred Body
    • People as Chess Pieces; and the ASP the Only Player
    • Comfort Through Sacrifice of the Mother or the Wife-Mother
    • Cannibalism as an ASP ‘Black Communion’
    • The Progress of Humankind from Blood Sacrifice to Bloodless, Symbolic Sacrifice
    • Conclusion
    • Antisocial Personality Disorder
    • Blood Sacrifice
    • Raiding

Dear Ones,

For those not in the know, this blog is not about me; I researched the topic to do with what intuition told me might be a ‘Controller’ who was the head of a ‘killing cult’. I had left the group, and felt at the time (some time ago) that I was in danger of being murdered by members of the group at his behest, and because of his anger towards me at leaving the group as soon as I got a whiff of what was going on there.

This blog is the result of my effort to understand the Weltanschauung of a person I heard about on the astral plane, who purportedly had the catastrophic childhood experience described in the two links below…

Link: “Thoughts on What Causes Antisocial ‘Personality’,” by Alice B. Clagett, published on 11 May 2016 … … See the subheading: Catastrophic Childhood Experiences … A Clair Case Study: The Young Boy Who Became a Cannibal

Link: “Serial Killers: Wikipedia vs Astral Stories,” by Alice B. Clagett, published on 17 November 2016 … ..

Here is one case of atypical concept of ego, to do with a child’s loss of the mother in early childhood. The person thinks: I am the only ego in the world. Everyone else is just an piece on my chessboard!


The result is what is termed in psychology ‘the antisocial personality’.

The sexual subtheme in the early childhood wounding, in this instance, resulted in sexuality being confused with death and killing, and expressing itself in this context as the child grew up.

Each of these expressions of killing as linked to sexuality can, I feel, be described as atavistic, as expressing themes worked through and generally sublimated in the progress of humankind from savagery to civilization.

In the instance described in the video, I feel this occurred because the shock of loss of the mother in early childhood threw the child back to a time before he began to learn socialization skills. Because the mother was gone, and he was all alone, there was a reorganization of his world view that excluded the mother. So the behaviors he undertook as he grew up excluded the concepts of family and a larger community, although I feel it had some kinship with primitive tribal practices.


For instance, this young person turned to cannibalism as an expression of communion with his mother, and in terms of the subconscious mind, symbolically being nurtured by the mother, who had passed on. This was expressed in ‘blood sacrifice’ of wives in later life.

This ritual sacrifice of the ‘wife’ or ‘mother’ was one of several blood sacrifice themes expressed by this person as he matured. In the video, I’ve described how this theme of blood sacrifice is an atavism, a throw-back to the early history of humankind, one such instance being the ancient Aztec practice of blood sacrifice of human beings to ensure the annual fertility of crops.

This practice may have had to do with subconscious symbolism: Early man may have observed women’s menstrual blood flowing, followed by conception of a child. He may have missed out on the role played by men, and the significance of semen. Thus the subconscious might have made a shortcut like this: Blood must flow, for fertility to occur.

It might also have had to do with early humankind’s experience of fierce predators such as lions and tigers dragging off their tribes people during the night. After such an incident, which must have inspired terror in the tribes people, there would have been a lull of a few days as the predator would be well stocked with food, and this would bring a feeling of relief, of temporary safety. These no doubt recurring incidents might have given the tribe the notion that fears, such as that of starvation through a poor harvest, could be quelled by offering human sacrifice.

As humankind matured, this blood sacrifice was toned down to sacrifice of animals, such as the sacrifice of lambs and goats described in the Bible. Then in more modern times, Christian churches express


Another was to make lone, nightly forays to kill men for a feeling of sexual thrill. Should this raiding have taken place in the context of a small group of companions or underlings, this would be more reminiscent of tribal aggressive expression of a head-man or warlord nature.

These practices have their precedents in ancient human times, as, for instance, in the forays of armed, horsed men such as those of Attila the Hun (434 to 453), the Viking raids of England (8th and 9th century), by modern-day soldiers of fortune, and in many other instances in human history.

There is less of a congruence with modern-day wars, which are sanctioned by governments. Rather, It seems to me that this person’s behavior in regard to killing of men was an atavistic expression of killing individually undertaken.


Another of his means of sexual expression was as follows: Together with another man, he would assault a lone young man; his friend would restrain the young man, and he would lop off the tip of the penis and swallow it. This latter practice, which carries back to ancient days of the human race, expresses the subconscious symbolism of stealing the manhood from another person and consuming it so as to magnify one’s own manhood.


On the astral plane, his sexual expression sometimes contrived as follows: He would arrange for a second man, a friend, to perpetrate a murder on the same day and at the same time as he. The antisocial personality, being clairvoyant and capable of astral travel, would experience the thrill of two murders at the same time … the murder done by his friend, and that done by himself.

Modern-day governments sanction bonding as ‘blood brothers’ through war. Street gangs also do this, to cement membership loyalty. The distinction with the person in the video has to do with the individuality of it: an agreement by two friends, not sanctioned by a government. One is, in this instance, one’s own government. One makes one’s own rules.

Bonding as ‘blood brothers’ among the young today is more often practiced without the murder of others. For instance, I recall from childhood the suggestion of a ritual pricking of fingers, drawing of blood, and touching together and mingling of blood, among young friends. Also, of tasting the blood drawn from a friend’s finger. Here is a stepping down of the ancient ritual, so that the very powerful subconscious symbolism is expressed, but in a way more amenable to societal expectations.


Because of the atavistic nature of the above acts, I feel that the astral story conveying this antisocial personality energy may be clearing through primitive archetypal memories of the human race. I also feel that the person or persons enacting these antisocial personality skits during the great clearing of the Awakening, have expressed Soul agreements to help with the clearing.

Speaking to the arena of law enforcement, in the context of the welfare of the human community, I nevertheless feel that it would be best to restrain antisocial personalities from acting out during the Awakening, insofar as possible.


Lightly edited … text in green font is not in the video …

Hello, Dear Ones, It’s Alice. I Am of the Stars.

The 4-Year-Old Boy Who Burned His Mom and Tasted Her Charred Body

I have a very interesting story to tell you about a special case of ego, and how ego interacts with the world. But before I do that, I need to go over a story that I told, some years ago, regarding a different kind of ego interaction with the world, where, because of early childhood loss, and a very traumatic event that happens in early childhood, a person turns to a type of ego patterning where their ego, they feel, is actually the only ego in the world. And all other purported people in the world are just like pieces on his chessboard … not real people. Ok?

Then after you hear this earlier story, you will have a good basis for comparing it to the new story that I am going to tell you in another video. So here is the old story, coming up. What it results in, just to let you know, is what they call ‘antisocial personality’ (the ASP). I guess they call it that because the way that the ego is viewed … the worldview of the person who has this notion of ego … results in behaviors that are very much in contrast to the way that most people relate to other people. So here goes …

This is a story about a young person who lived with his family in a very rural, remote area, in his early childhood. And his father had gone off someplace. And he was home, then, with his mother. He was maybe 4 or 5 years old, home with his mother and a new infant that she had.

He wanted to climb in bed with his mother, who had had some liquor to drink. He had a sexual feeling, or she did, and she pushed him out of the bed. And he became angry. And he went and set fire to the house, out in this rural area. And the house burned down, and everybody died.

So then he found the mother’s body, that was charred up. He was all alone, in the middle of nowhere, and hungry. And he tried a tiny taste of the mom.

And that led to a life in which he believed that he was the only ego anywhere. He had a kind of setback. You know, at the age of 2, children begin to learn ‘I’ … No!  I will not! I am different from mom!

And so this young person, unfortunately, was about 4 years old, and the shock of what happened to him … seemingly his own fault, right? … the shock of that was so great that it set him back, to before that marker where we learn the ego is different from the ego of the mother.

People as Chess Pieces; and the ASP the Only Player

And so, because he knew his mother was dead, he became The Only Ego Anywhere. And for him, everyone else that he saw was just a part of his own … like pieces on a chessboard … and that he was the only player.

And so, in his life, he felt he had the perfect right to move these pieces around anywhere he wanted. And that they themselves had no free will. And this attitude that he had … which was very unusual, from the standpoint of ego … allowed him to express his world view by Mind Controlling and hypnotizing everyone else that he had met.

And so, that is one very unusual way of expressing ego in the world of duality; in the third and fourth dimensions. I just say that by way of a flashback to what has been talked about previously, about catastrophic early childhood loss … I think there were a few blogs like that. And how it changes our concept of who we are; of what our ego is, and what the world is, and what all the humans in the world really are. And how unusual that point of view is.

So from that point of view, a person easily turns to antisocial behavior, because it does not make any difference, from their point of view, what happens to other people, as long as they derive pleasure from what happens. Do you see? Pleasure, or comfort, or a sense of being loved. It does not matter whether those people live or die, at all.

Comfort Through Sacrifice of the Mother or the Wife-Mother

And also, because that very young person sampled a piece of the mom’s body, at a time when he experienced loss, and derived comfort or sustenance from that, he came to feel that women existed to provide him with nourishment (like meat). So he became a cannibal … a cannibal of women.

And in that way, he transformed the notion of mother’s milk … which is the typical way of conceiving receiving sustenance from the mother … into the notion of sacrificing the mother; drinking her blood, and eating her flesh … which is a very unconventional way of viewing the mother – child relationship.

Again, it involves feeling that the person that is in the motherly relationship with what they call the ‘antisocial personality’ (the ASP) … that person is an expendable chess piece on the antisocial personality’s … the ‘I Am the Only Ego’ person’s … gameboard of life.

So that person may have numberless substitute mother relationships throughout their life … typically in relationship, feeling that they are wives to him, that he then eventually sacrifices in the same way that the sacrifice of his mother occurred.

Cannibalism as an ASP ‘Black Communion’

And this is a form of blood sacrifice; something like the notion of the catholic church, of sacrificing Christ’s body and blood for transformation of the person. Only, the Church uses a substitute, something very nourishing for that. And it is their way of saying that cannibalism is not the way to go.

The Progress of Humankind from Blood Sacrifice to Bloodless, Symbolic Sacrifice

There were times, in the history of humankind, when blood sacrifice was used … say, the Aztec times … to create in the people a notion that they would receive nourishment from the growing maize and so forth … the growing crops … through blood sacrifice. In a way that’s true; but the more socially acceptable, current-day usage of the notion of sacrifice, is for the mother to give the child milk, or place food on the table every day. And that is the way that most people look at it.

What this person did … what we call ‘cannibalism’ today … this person was thrown back to the ancient memories of humankind, when, in fact, we did have, first blood sacrifice of people, then moving on, to blood sacrifice of animals, as in the Old Testament … lambs, for instance; maybe goats … and then moving on to sharing of the bread and wine, and so forth.


So, that’s Unusual Ego Concepts Number One. And in a separate video, since this one has turned out to be so long, I will discuss the second idea about unusual concepts of ego.

In love, light and joy,
I Am of the Stars

See also: Link: “Ego 2: One Ego Encapsulated in Another; Body Co-Tenancy and Soul Evolution,” by Alice B. Clagett, published on 17 August 2016, revised … ..


Antisocial Personality Disorder

Link: “Antisocial Personality Disorder,” by Mayo Clinic … ..

Link: “Antisocial Personality Disorder,” in Wikipedia … ..

Blood Sacrifice

Link: “Human Sacrifices in Aztec Culture,” in Wikipedia … ..

Link: “Offerings and Sacrifices,” by Bible Study Group … ..

About Holy Communion: Link: “Transubstantiation,” in Wikipedia … ..


Link: “Attila the Hun,” in Biography… ..

Link: “Invasions of the British Isles,” in Wikipedia … … See the subheading: Viking Raids and Invasions


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ego, early childhood loss, antisocial personality, Soul wounding, childhood wounding, loss of mother, cannibalism, blood sacrifice, flesh as sacrament, Holy Communion, mother-child relationship, wife killing, misogyny, killing of women, subconscious symbolism, raiding, blood brother bonding, atavism, Transubstantiation, subconscious symbolism, barbarism, fertility rites, psychology, psychiatry, circle of one, catastrophic childhood experiences, Wild West, Heart Vampire,

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