Written on 18 May 2020; published on 22 June 2021
Image: “The Molotov Man,” by Joy Garnett, 2003, in Wikimedia Commons … https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Molotovflickr.jpg ,,, CC BY-SA 2.5 Generic
- THE ORIGINAL SOUL WOUNDING TABLEAU
- THE MIRROR TABLEAU THAT OCCURRED MANY YEARS LATER
- Astral Story: The First Man’s Sexual Congress with a Potentially Emasculating Man
- The First Man Attempts to Destroy the ‘Evil Eye’ of the Woman in the Second Tableau
- CONCLUSION: ON ESCAPING LIFE’S CURVE BALLS THROUGH DAILY SPIRITUAL PRACTICE
I have been putting off publishing this story as I find it distasteful. I learned quite a good lesson from it, though, and that is worth the printed word …
THE ORIGINAL SOUL WOUNDING TABLEAU
This is an elaboration on a story I wrote some time ago about a young man who, just at the time when he was learning about sexuality, took up with a lady who was known for her ‘evil eye’. Now the ‘evil eye’ is something that is spoken of in country parlance. It is spoken of by people who do not know much about the kundalini and the chakras, and so forth. The term represents a fear people have about the supernatural … about the psychic realm, and so forth … a fear based on insufficient understanding. For instance, I remember, from my youth, there were people reputed to have the ‘evil eye’ in the countryside where I lived as well; I remember how people would go out of their way to avoid confronting them.
But to get back to the story, in the area where this young man lived, there was a lady who was very good looking. The young man was a Caucasian … maybe 9 to 15 years of age … and she was an African American lady living in a house maybe a mile or less from him.
So the young man … being in the throes of puberty … was ineluctably drawn to her door, where he, for the first time, experienced the sex act with a woman (or else a prelude to that). Then he came back a second time. This woman had a lover who was also African American, and apparently drunk at the time, and he grabbed this young boy and mutilated his genitals in some way. I do not know the details.
This was the original Soul wounding tableau in the young man’s life: He (a relatively powerless young man); an African American woman with an ‘evil eye’; and her lover, a physically powerful African American man.
THE MIRROR TABLEAU THAT OCCURRED MANY YEARS LATER
In his later life, according to the astral story, the young man sought to make his third-eye point very strong through spiritual practices, and had a fear of women who had strong third-eye point energy. He joined a spiritual group, and built up his third-eye point energy and his mind control and black magic abilities; he became a very powerful man psychically, and a leader of that group.
Time went by, and a mirror tableau occurred. The first man separately met a man and a woman about his age. In his subconscious mind (this happens a lot) he played out with what seemed like vengeful fury that scenario that was repressed Soul wounding from his adolescent days, through these two people that he had met. That fury is what inspired me to add the painting of “The Molotov Man” to this blog.
Astral Story: The First Man’s Sexual Congress with a Potentially Emasculating Man
According to the astral story, the first man had had to chose between men and women as sexual partners. In that scenario where the first man felt that the woman had the ‘evil eye’ and he was attracted to her, and the second man might cut off his genitals (as had happened in his youth), I should think it would be difficult for a man with that experience to trust anyone for sexual intercourse … man or woman. But in that second tableau, at least on the astral plane, it turned out the first man was more afraid of the woman than of the second man.
In this second tableau, in the first man’s subconscious mind the second man became the African American man that the first man had had to face in his youth. On the astral plane I got an image that the first man had asked the second man to perform acts of oral sex on his knees before him. While that is a very common practice amongst men, I think that in this case … if it did occur … that it would have represented a fear of the other man, and a ritual of submission by the second man that the first man required so as to have the assurance to ejaculate in the presence of the second man.
In the first man’s subconscious mind, the second man, though Caucasian, was associated with the original African American man. I gathered that, on the psychic plane, as I had a vision that, when the first man was participating in the act of sex with the second man, the first man would say to him: Now you will do that Negro thing. By ‘Negro’ I believe the first man meant something derogatory. So there was that.
I think this astral story is a good example of how an extremely Soul ‘tearing’ or Soul wounding experience that occurs, especially in very early childhood or at the time of puberty, as is often the case, repeats itself … with or without strong similarities of the people in the two tableaus … throughout a person’s lifetime, until the time arrives when they look at it from the point of view of consciousness or Awareness, and resolve, especially, the emotion-filled thoughts that are binding down and repressing that Soul memory.
The First Man Attempts to Destroy the ‘Evil Eye’ of the Woman in the Second Tableau
As to the woman in the second scenario, I was that woman. I was the person the first man imagined had the ‘evil eye’ … though in fact I had merely strong chakric energies, including those of the third-eye point, because of my earlier practice and teaching of kundalini yoga.
I never properly met that first man. I once came to within hailing distance of him … I think it was in the year 1999 or 2000, and walked forward with intention of introducing myself. But as I met his gaze he got a consternational look on his face and backed away from me. So I went on away from him. That was the closest I ever got to so much as meeting that person. It was just about then that I became suddenly telepathic … clairaudient and to some small extent, clairvoyant. I began to overhear quite a commotion on the psychic plane; a great deal of telepathic communication began to occur. I began hearing the subconscious and also conscious thoughts of many people. In retrospect, I feel this telepathic gift helped me survive what was to follow.
For the following 10 or 20 years, the thoughts of the first man pursued me. It was all the worse for me that he was a spiritual adept with powers of mind control, and in a position of leadership in his spiritual community. That made it possible for him to turn the subconscious thoughts of many other people against me, and their subconscious enmity added omph to his nightly forays into my sleeping, subconscious mind.
I was not related to the second man. But in the mind of the first man, it seemed to me he formed a connection between himself and me as if we were lovers. His subconscious mind, for a long time … a decade, two decades … kept repeating the connection between us as being lovers, although in fact we were not even acquaintances. As well, in his subconscious mind he created a link between the second man and me, as if we were lovers, although we had only met a time or two, in a social context, and had only just shaken hands in a formal context. I had the barest of knowledge of both men. It was as if the first man’s subconscious mind had snapped the second man and me into the ‘cookie cutter’ pattern of his early Soul wounding.
In his subconscious mind it seemed to me (from my telepathic perspective) that the first man was repeating this early tableau over and over again. To him, a woman with strong third-eye point energy represented a threat that must be subdued by taking away from her, or else binding down and cutting up her third-eye point energy so that it could not represent a threat to him. On the astral plane it seemed to me that was, in fact, what his subconscious mind did, over the years. As it was sleeping, it would attack my third-eye point energy. It seemed every acquaintance of his would be infected with this enmity, and would cast barbs of enmity at my sleeping form.
It seemed to me likely that the first man might have felt that, had people learned of his preference for men (and young boys, as it seemed) as sexual partners, his leadership of the spiritual group might have been in jeopardy. The Soul wounding issues to which I was privy were a very closely held secrets of but a few men in the group. That I had suddenly become telepathic made things much worse for those who hoped to cover up and slide by the issues I had encountered.
In what seemed to me to be a series of ‘psychic terrorist’ attacks, I was cast out of the group. In the psychic airs, it seemed as if Big Bads loomed everywhere. No less than six evilly inclined spirits circled round my head night and day for years.
My third-eye point became damaged, injured, a mere shell of its former self, and my chakric energies became unbalanced. My energy field withered.
I left Los Angeles many times to get away from the first man and his followers, but to no avail. I would arrive someplace new … someplace where it seemed to me no members of that group met … and within a month or so a branch of the organization would pop up there.
CONCLUSION: ON ESCAPING LIFE’S CURVE BALLS THROUGH DAILY SPIRITUAL PRACTICE
In recent years, I returned to Los Angeles, and took up the practice of kundalini yoga again. That has repaired the damage to my third-eye point and reversed the negative energies of the malware ‘barbs’ of the first man’s spiritual group to the positive energy that was in my energy field on the fateful day I first met that man.
I think the lesson for me is to continue doing my daily spiritual practice no matter how bleak the horizon … no matter what bad luck assails me. The Sikhs say that the Holy Name of God, if recited with every breath, will ‘carry us over the terrible world ocean’ …
Link: “Happiness Runs,” by Hari Jiwan Singh Khalsa, 23 December 2017, at Sikh Dharma International … https://www.sikhdharma.org/happiness-runs/ ..
In my own life, I find that the thought of God, linked to the breath, and the daily practice of yoga, and listening to sacred songs or singing them, are a great way to deal with the curve balls life will lob my way from time to time.
In love, light and joy,
I Am of the Stars
See also … Link: “Compendium: Catastrophic Childhood Case Study: ‘Witchy Woman Hater’,” by Alice B. Clagett, written and published on 12 August 2020; revised … https://wp.me/p2Rkym-jt6 ..
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catastrophic childhood experiences, circle of one, evil eye, Soul wounding, spiritual adepts, 6th chakra, third-eye point, genital mutilation, cults that kill, mind control cults, mind control, black magic, transcending the Dark, overcoming mesmerism, psychic terrorists, homosexuality, pedophilia, disclosure,