Published on 21 August 2019
- SECURITY AT THE FITNESS CENTER
- THE MYSTERY OF THE MISSING SUN HAT
- NEW TEACHERS AT SENIOR FITNESS CLASSES
- KALI CLOTHED
In the autumn of 2018 I had been attending senior exercise classes at a local fitness center for several years. I was over the initial condition, plantar fasciitis, that prevented my usual hiking and steered me to the fitness center, and I was getting tired of doing the same not very challenging exercises time after time, in a darkly lit room, with teachers sometimes good, and sometimes not to my liking, and music so loud that I had to wear noise dampening ear muffs.
SECURITY AT THE FITNESS CENTER
There were other issues to deal with at the fitness center. Topmost was the issue of security for my person and my belongings. The front desk had advised, on my first day there, that cars in the parking lot were often broken into; and that I should leave nothing of value in the cars. The advice of the front desk regarding the lockers in the changing room was the same: Locking the lockers would not avail; I ought leave nothing of value in them.
I asked about the high security lockers in front of the front desk, which had keys, and the people at the desk advised these were also not secure; I later found that front desk personnel had the keys, and these personnel changed out frequently. Thus it must be that any number of ex-staff might, theoretically, have keys to the high security lockers.
Where was one to leave one’s wallet and car keys, then? I thought maybe I keep them in a backpack at the back of the exercise class, and stand directly in front of the backpack throughout.
This I found to be a successful approach, although I was only able to participate when one of the teachers asked the people in the group to stride round the room as one of her exercises, by first donning my backpack.
In addition, there was a woman in one of the classes, perhaps cognitively challenged, who would attempt to filch our belongings, and on Fridays adults not in the class would sneak in and walk off with people’s handhelds, keys, and purses.
In short, while in that class, it was ‘heads up’ at every moment, with regard to personal security.
THE MYSTERY OF THE MISSING SUN HAT
Along those lines, and before getting back to the true topic of today’s blog, I remember how, when I first started going to the fitness center, when I would go to the changing room after class, that I somehow unaccountably walked out of the changing area missing my sun hat. This I knew because I needed to put it on as I exited the lobby for the parking lot, and could not. I went back in and looked in the locker, and asked at the front desk … No hat! Quite a mystery!
So then a third time, after class, I walked into the changing area, this time with careful determination to keep an eye on my hat. I changed in a restroom stall, so that I could keep my hat and belongings on the wall side of the stall. I walked out of the stall and stood at a restroom sink, belongings touching my left leg.
I looked up at the mirror as I began to brush my teeth. Then I saw a cleaning lady sidle up behind me, on the left side, and bend down toward the bag in which I had placed my hat. I grabbed the top of the bag and looked her in the eye. She grabbed her broom handle and lifted it over her head.
I grabbed my bag and went to the far side of the locker room to put my shoes on. She followed me, broom handle raised, aiming to position herself behind my back, between the lockers and the bench on which I was sitting.
As, had she attained that stance I would have been a ‘sitting duck’, I grabbed my bag and my shoes and went out into the lobby of the fitness center. There I explained what had happened. The person at the front desk said that the cleaning woman was a good worker, and that she would calm down after awhile. Lacking other recourse, I sat in a chair in the lobby to put on my walking shoes, and left for the parking lot, hat in hand.
NEW TEACHERS AT SENIOR FITNESS CLASSES
A woman arrived as a teacher of one of the senior fitness classes, and I did not like her, because of her masculine, bossy manner of teaching and her sexual manner.
As to looks, she reminded me of a woman named Nancy Raffaele … https://www.facebook.com/nancy.raffaele.9 … who had been a member of the Gracelight meditation classes I attended for awhile in Durango. I had begun to experience uneasiness towards Nancy Raffaele and her husband Veki Ilic in 2015, I think it was, and because of that had since avoided them. The cause of my uneasiness was what I perceived to be a mismatch between their emotional affect and their actions and speech. It felt like something was ‘amiss’ … something I could not quite put my finger on. Possibly I was just not their type, and vice versa?
Although it seemed likely that this new teacher, despite the strong resemblance, was not the person I knew in Durango (as the former seemed younger), I did my best to avoid the new teacher, and rather went to the classes led by teachers I felt to be inspiring … those who projected heart centered Awareness.
For awhile that worked out right well; but then another teacher arrived whose energy was very like that of the masculine-acting, bossy teacher with the sexual manner. I remember it felt like pure sexual hatred was being projected from her second chakra.
I remember wondering if she might have been a transgender person who was unable to achieve orgasm because of her sex-change operation, and if that might be the reason for the sexual rage I sensed?
I wondered if she had an ailing mother at home whom she resented, and if maybe I reminded her of her mother?
Could she be a sex worker, I wondered? I remember how coldly she rebuffed a shy, flirtatious remark by a man in the front of the class. I wondered: If she were to be a sex worker, who could her prospective clients be?
I remember hiding behind a pillar during the class to avoid being hit by what seemed to me to be astral ‘nails’ of sexual hatred being slung at me. She seemed to be saying, on the psychic plane: I will nail you! I will nail you! …
Link: “Acting Out of the Subconscious Metaphor: I Will Nail You!” by Alice B. Clagett, drafted on 14 November 2018; final draft on 10 December 2018 … https://wp.me/p2Rkym-b39 ..
I remember once going to the restroom mid-class, to get away from the vibe and the loud music, and hearing three senior women from the class masturbating in the restroom. What on earth was going on, I wondered? I had never encountered anything like that before, in my life!
I remember how, when I moved behind the pillar at the back of the classroom, that new teacher at the front of the room would move to one side, scowling, to get a clear view of me. Then I would move slightly to the other side, to block her view. Then she would shift position, to get a clear view of me. And so on.
Twice, she became so angry at my avoiding her that she walked directly up to me, as I stood in the back of the room, and began doing plies, feet spread about a yard apart. Glaring at me, she yelled: This is how it’s done. You see? This is how it’s done!
This so horrified me that, in December 2018 I decided senior exercise class was not worth it, and opted out of the fitness center, in favor of the mountain walks I so love.
The final episode of my misadventures at the fitness center has so haunted me for the last eight months that I finally made a drawing of how the spirit of that teacher seemed to me, on the psychic plane. My first rendition was explicit as to sexual organs, and that surely will not do, online. After awhile, I thought I might add clothes or other obscuration, such as a paint blotch, and then it would be all right to put the drawing online; yesterday I did that.
Nevertheless, because of the unpleasant nature of the topic of the drawing, and the sexual connotation, I advise only those over 18 years of age look at the below image. I feel that would be best. In addition, for those adults who, like me, do not like prurient topics, I suggest that you avoid looking at the drawing as well; as an alternative, you might simply read the description …
FOR ADULT VIEWING ONLY … Image: “Kali Clothed,” by Alice B. Clagett, 21 August 2019, CC BY-SA 4.0 … https://iamofthestars.files.wordpress.com/2019/08/2019-08-20-kali-clothed-adapted3-good-e1566398655130.jpg …
DESCRIPTION: A buxom woman with red lipstick and shoulder-length hair, wearing a blue bikini, squatting over the head of a man with open mouth, open eyes, and a crew cut. The woman’s feet are about a yard apart, toes outward in the plie position of ballet. Her elbows are by her sides, forearms horizontal and spread-eagle, fingers spread wide.
Above the woman’s head is the torso of a man, limbs spread-eagle, genitalia obscured by a brown and teal splotch of paint. This is an adaptation of my drawing “Kali Unclothed” that cannot be posted online due to censorship laws.
In love, light and joy,
I Am of the Stars
Except where otherwise noted, this work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.
kali, transgender, rage, crossdressing, transgender, fitness center, theft, security, crime, law enforcement, Hinduism, anger, sadomasochism, sex workers, drawings by Alice, sexuality,